Scuba diving has always held a special place in my heart. I remember my first dive vividly—nervous but excited, I plunged beneath the waves, the world above fading away. As I swam among colorful fish and swaying corals, I felt a deep connection with the ocean. It’s not just the thrill of exploring the underwater world that I cherish; it’s the joy of sharing laughs with fellow divers. Whether we’re joking about our gear or the quirky sea life we encounter, humor adds an extra layer of fun to our adventures.
1. Why do fish always know how much they weigh?
A quipper scientist knows their scales!
2. What do scuba divers do before they dive?
They check their buoyancy, make sure they’re not a bit buoyant!
3. Why don’t fish make good musicians?
Because they can’t tuna fish!
4. What did the ocean say to the scuba diver?
Nothing, it just waved!
5. Why did the scuba diver bring a pencil?
To draw his conclusions underwater!
6. How do you organize a fantastic underwater party?
You “sea” to it that everyone is on the guest list!
7. What did the fish say when it bumped into a wall?
Dam!
8. Why don’t submarines ever get lost?
Because they follow the tide!
9. How do you know if a fish is a great comedian?
It’s always reeling in the laughs!
10. Why did the crab never share its food?
Because it was a bit shellfish!
11. What kind of music do sea creatures listen to?
Anything with a good “current” rhythm!
12. Why was the dolphin always happy?
Because it had plenty of “fin” time!
13. What’s a scuba diver’s favorite game?
Underwater tag, it’s always a “catch”!
14. Why are ocean fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
16. How do you throw a space party in the ocean?
You planet with a splash!
17. Why did the diver bring string to the dive?
To tie up some loose ends!
18. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
19. Why was the octopus so good at baseball?
It had plenty of “catches”!
20. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved!
Punny depths: A collection of puns
21. What do you get when you cross a fish with a piano?
Something you can tuna!
22. Why did the algae break up with the coral?
Because it found someone more “appealing”!
23. How does a mermaid keep her money safe?
In a “purse” of pearls!
24. What did the fish say to its crush?
You’re “fin-tastic”!
25. Why don’t fish ever get lost at sea?
Because they always follow their “current”!
26. What do sea turtles use to communicate?
Turtlophones!
27. How do you catch a fish that’s always trying to escape?
With a “hook, line, and sinker”!
28. What do you call a lazy fish?
A “nap” fish!
29. Why do fish never play basketball?
They’re afraid of the “net”!
30. How do fish get around?
They take the “fin” bus!
31. Why did the underwater photographer bring a ladder?
To take his “shots” to new heights!
32. What’s a shark’s favorite game?
Hide and “sea”!
33. How does a school of fish go to class?
In a “fisher bus”!
34. Why did the octopus break up with its partner?
Too many “claws” in the relationship!
35. What do you call a fish without fins?
Fred!
36. Why are fish so great at networking?
Because they know how to “scale” the waters!
37. What did the waves say to the shore?
“Stop being so salty!”
38. Why don’t clams ever donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
39. What type of instrument do fish like to play?
The bass guitar!
40. Why did the diver fail his exam?
He just couldn’t “sea” the answers!
Underwater wit: Best scuba jokes
1. Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
2. What’s a scuba diver’s favorite type of exercise?
Jumping into deep waters!
3. What do you get when you mix a fish and a magician?
A flounder that disappears!
4. How do you organize a space party underwater?
You planet with some bubbles!
5. What did one fish say to another when they hit a wall?
“Dam!”
6. Why don’t fish ever go to school?
Because they’re always swimming upstream!
7. How did the whale feel after a long dive?
Low tide!
8. What do you call the villain in a fish movie?
The bass-ard!
9. Why do dolphins always swim in groups?
Because they can’t handle their own “whale” of a time!
10. What do you call a fish who practices law?
A lawyerfish!
11. How do fish get their news?
From the current events!
12. Why are sharks such great friends?
They always “scale” back their differences!
13. What do you call a fish who became a doctor?
A sturgeon with a prescription!
14. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
15. What’s a scuba diver’s least favorite vegetable?
Seaweed, it’s just too clingy!
16. Why did the clam go to see a doctor?
It felt a little shellfish!
17. What do you give a fish on its birthday?
A fish cake!
18. Why was the crab never in a hurry?
Because it always took things one claw at a time!
19. What did the shark say to the scuba diver?
“You’re a little fishy around the edges!”
20. How do fish know how much they weigh?
They have their own scales!
Diving gear: Hilarious quips
1. Why don’t scuba divers use the internet?
Because they’re afraid of the web!
2. What did the diver say when his gear didn’t work?
Looks like I’m in deep water!
3. Why did the mask break up with the snorkel?
It couldn’t stand the pressure!
4. How do you calm a nervous scuba tank?
You give it a little air of confidence!
5. What do you call a diver who’s always late?
A slow-poke-a-dive!
6. Why did the wetsuit apply for a job?
Because it wanted to make a splash in the industry!
7. What do divers wear to stay warm?
A wetsuit, it’s simply “cool”!
8. Why was the scuba regulator so popular?
It always knew how to keep the conversation flowing!
9. What’s a diver’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with a lot of underwater action!
10. Why did the buoy get promoted?
Because it always floated to the top!
11. What do you say to a well-prepared dive?
“You’re all set to make waves!”
12. How did the snorkel feel during the dive?
Pretty “high and dry”!
13. Why is a dive computer so good at reading?
It’s programmed for depth analysis!
14. What did the tanks say at their reunion?
“It’s time to refill our memories!”
15. Why was the diving knife always invited to parties?
Because it really knows how to cut loose!
16. How do divers stay organized?
They always have a “gear” list!
17. Why did the fin apply for a job?
It wanted to put its best foot forward!
18. What did the diver say to his mask on a bad day?
“You really need to clear your lens!”
19. Why do diving computers hate surprises?
Because they lose track of depth!
20. How did the diver take his coffee?
With a splash of saltwater for flavor!
Marine life: Puns about sea creatures
1. Why did the dolphin bring a suitcase to the party?
Because it wanted to make a splash with its style!
2. What do you call a fish who loves to tell jokes?
A punny fish!
3. How does a clam communicate?
By shell-phones!
4. What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
5. Why did the jellyfish go to school?
To get a little “ed-jelly-cation”!
6. What do you call a fish that can’t play piano?
A flatfish!
7. Why did the crab take a nap?
Because it was feeling a little shell-shocked!
8. How do oysters keep track of their correspondence?
With “clam-mail”!
9. Why was the fish so good at math?
Because it knew how to scale the numbers!
10. What did the octopus say to its partner on date night?
“Let’s have a tentacle time!”
11. Why don’t eels ever get lost?
They know the “current” directions!
12. What did the anglerfish say to the other fishes?
“Let’s light up the night!”
13. Why did the shrimp share its treasure?
Because it was a little shellfish!
14. How do fish stay in shape?
They do “splash” workouts!
15. Why did the sea turtle break up with its partner?
It found someone “shell” of a lot better!
16. What did one fish say to another in school?
“Catch you at the fish fry!”
17. Why did the clownfish start a blog?
To share its “fin-tastic” life stories!
18. What do you call a group of musical fish?
A fish band with a great “scale”!
19. How did the fish feel after hearing a good joke?
It was hooked on laughter!
20. Why didn’t the starfish go to the party?
Because it felt too “pointed”!
Dive sites: Funny location-based jokes
1. Why did the diver break up with their girlfriend in Fiji?
Because she was a little too into “the reef!”
2. How do divers tell location-based jokes?
They always leave everyone in deep water!
3. Why was the underwater photographer always happy at the Great Barrier Reef?
Because he was living his best life in “colorful” surroundings!
4. What do you call a bad dive in the Bahamas?
A total “beach”!
5. Why did the crab refuse to share an underwater map?
Because it didn’t want anyone to find its “claw-some” hiding spots!
6. How do scuba divers get to the best dive sites in Key Largo?
They take the “buoyant” bus!
7. Why did the jellyfish love diving in the Mediterranean?
Because it was always in “current” style!
8. What did the diver say when they went to the famous underwater cave?
“This is a little too ‘cavernous’ for my liking!”
9. Why did the diver get kicked out of the coral reef party?
Because he kept saying “I’m just here for the anemone!”
10. Why did the shark never tell jokes while diving in the Caribbean?
Because they didn’t want to be the punchline!
11. What did the octopus say to the diver in Hawaii?
“You’ve got to be ‘tentacling’ me!”
12. Why do sea turtles love diving in Maui?
It’s their “turtley” awesome retreat!
13. How did the starfish feel after exploring the ocean floor?
It was “starry-eyed”!
14. Why did the clownfish start a guided tour in the Coral Sea?
It wanted to “clown” around while making waves!
15. What do scuba divers and beach resorts have in common?
They both know how to make a splash!
16. Why don’t fish ever play cards in the ocean?
Because they might end up “shuffling” in a current!
17. How did the diver enjoy their vacation in the Red Sea?
They soaked in every “deeper” moment!
18. What did the fish say to the diver when he arrived at the dive site?
“You’ve found the ‘fin’ destination!”
19. Why did the seahorse go exploring in the local reef?
To find “seahorsepower”!
20. What happens when divers explore the same wreck in different locations?
They have a “wreck-tacular” reunion!
Buddy system: Jokes for diving partners
1. Why did the buddy bring a ladder on the dive?
Because they heard the dive was going to be a little “over their heads”!
2. How do divers keep track of their buddies?
They use “fin-tervals”!
3. What did the scuba diver say to their partner during the dive?
“I can’t ‘bear’ to be without you!”
4. Why did the diving buddies bring extra snacks?
In case they got “sea-food” cravings!
5. What do you call it when you and your dive buddy go separate ways?
A “split dive!”
6. Why did the buddy forget their diving gear?
Because they were lost in “sea-lection”!
7. How did buddies greet each other after a dive?
With a warm “hug and fins!”
8. What’s the best way to keep your dive buddy calm?
Just “breathe easy” together!
9. Why do diving partners make great comedians?
Because they always know how to “hook” the audience!
10. What did one diver say to another when they lost sight?
“Don’t flipper out!”
11. Why did the buddy bring a towel to the dive?
To make “waves” of laughter!
12. What do you call a diving duo that sings?
A “band of fins!”
13. How do diving buddies stay motivated?
By “scuba-lifting” each other up!
14. What did the diver say about their buddy’s new wetsuit?
“You look absolutely ‘fin-tastic’!”
15. Why was the diving partner always telling puns?
Because they wanted to “sea” who could catch the most laughs!
16. What’s a diver’s favorite joke to tell their buddy?
“It’s all about the dive-ine timing!”
17. Why was the buddy’s underwater selfie the best?
Because it captured all the right “nanoseconds”!
18. Why did the dive buddies have to stick together?
Because they needed to avoid too many “current” events!
19. How did the divers celebrate a successful dive?
With a toast to their “fin-credible” friendship!
20. What happens when dive buddies disagree?
They just “swim” it over!
Instructors and students: Classroom humor
1. Why did the scuba instructor bring a pencil to class?
To draw out the best answers!
2. How do you know when a scuba instructor is lying?
When they say, “Just one more dive for today!”
3. What did the student say to the instructor who corrected them?
“You’re really making waves in my learning!”
4. Why did the instructor make a terrible chef?
They always dove headfirst into the deep end!
5. How does a diving instructor greet new students?
“Welcome aboard, let’s make a splash!”
6. Why was the scuba class always full?
Because it’s a wave of enthusiasm!
7. What advice did the instructor give about equalizing?
“You have to get on the same level!”
8. Why did the student bring a fish to class?
To scale up their knowledge!
9. How do instructors stay fit?
By diving into their exercises!
10. What did the relieve instructor say during an emergency drill?
“Just keep calm and dive on!”
11. Why was the class always so excited?
They were ready to surf on knowledge!
12. What did the instructor say to the nervous diver?
“Don’t worry, it’s not rocket science—just bubbles!”
13. Why did the student take extra notes during class?
To make sure they didn’t miss a wave of information!
14. What did the instructor joke about during lectures?
“Dive deep, but don’t go overboard!”
15. How did students address their scuba teacher?
“Depth expert!”
16. What’s the instructor’s favorite test?
One that really makes you think below the surface!
17. Why did the student flunk out of scuba school?
They couldn’t get past their own currents!
18. What’s a scuba instructor’s go-to motivational saying?
“Every dive is a learning experience!”
19. How did the class celebrate their final dive?
With a splash-tastic pizza party!
20. Why did the buoy refuse to leave the classroom?
It was tied to its instructor!
Scuba events: Laughs for dive gatherings
1. Why did the diver throw a party after the dive?
Because they wanted to celebrate their “fin-credible” adventures!
2. What’s a scuba diver’s favorite holiday?
Sea-ster Sunday!
3. Why did everyone love the dive shop picnic?
Because the atmosphere was simply “splash-tacular”!
4. How do divers decide who tells the best jokes at dive events?
They take a “poll” underwater!
5. What do you get when you cross a dive guide with a comedian?
A laugh-er underwater!
6. Why was the dive convention so popular?
Because it was deep on fun!
7. What did the scuba diver say at the award ceremony?
“This honor is just too deep for words!”
8. How do you know when a scuba event is successful?
When everyone is hooked on the fun!
9. What do you call a crowded gathering of divers?
A bubble fest!
10. Why did the shark get kicked out of the dive event?
Because it couldn’t stop making waves!
11. What snack is a must-have at any dive event?
Reef crackers!
12. How do divers celebrate a good day?
With a “toasty” bonfire on the beach!
13. What did the dolphin say during the opening ceremony?
“I’m ready to make a splash!”
14. Why did the jellyfish avoid the gathering?
It didn’t want to get caught in the current of gossip!
15. What kind of music do divers jam to at parties?
Anything with a good “wave” beat!
16. How did the octopus win the diving competition?
It pulled all the right “tentacle” moves!
17. What did the sea turtle say after winning the diving contest?
“I’m just going to take it slow and steady!”
18. Why are dive events so educational?
Because they always dive into the details!
19. What do you call a gathering for newly certified divers?
A “fresh catch” party!
20. How do you keep the party going at a dive festival?
Just keep the bubbles flowing!
Safety first: Lighthearted safety reminders
1. Why did the diver refuse to panic during a bad dive?
Because they knew to just keep swimming!
2. What’s the best advice for new divers during a safety drill?
Always “sea” what’s going on around you!
3. Why do divers love diving with buddies?
Because safety is always a “pair”-adise!
4. What did the instructor say about safety in the water?
“It’s just common ‘sense’ buoyancy!”
5. Why did the scuba diver wear two wetsuits?
In case they had a “double-header” emergency!
6. What’s a diving buddy’s motto for safety?
“Stay close, stay afloat, and above all, stay fin-tastic!”
7. Why did the shark join the safety training?
Because it wanted to be the “fin”-est swimmer!
8. What’s a diver’s favorite workout?
Safety stretches; they keep you limber for those “hair-raising” dives!
9. How do you know if a diver is well-prepared?
They bring up the “depth” of safety measures in conversation!
10. What did the buoy say to the diver who was overthinking?
“Just float it out, take it one dive at a time!”
11. Why did the octopus take a first aid class?
To learn how to “band-aid” itself when in a pinch!
12. What’s a common catchphrase during safety briefings?
“Breathe easy and dive deep, it’s all about safety first!”
13. How do scuba divers stay calm in emergencies?
They know to just take things one breath at a time!
14. Why was the buoy always calm?
Because it knew how to stay afloat under pressure!
15. What advice did the fish give to divers about checking gear?
“Always keep a ‘fin’ check on your ‘tanks’!”
16. What did the turtle say during the dive safety meeting?
“Slow and steady wins the underwater race!”
17. Why do divers love to rehearse safety drills?
Because practice makes perfect—even underwater!
18. What’s the divers’ mantra when entering the water?
“Stay safe, stay smart, and most importantly, stay buoyant!”
19. Why did the diver bring an extra oxygen tank?
Just in case they needed to think “out of the box”!
20. How do you tell if a diver takes safety seriously?
They bring a floatation device to the safety meeting!