Once, while relaxing by the shore, I heard a little kid shout, “Look, Mom! A sea urchin!” I chuckled at how he thought it was an actual sea creature having a bad hair day. That moment sparked my love for all things ocean-related, especially the puns! Here are some waves of laughter that are sure to make your day brighter.
1. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
2. Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
It found someone deeper!
3. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
4. How does a crab stay in shape?
By doing squats and shell-lifting!
5. What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
6. Why did the shark look for a job?
He wanted to be employed in his school!
7. What’s a fish’s favorite instrument?
The bass guitar!
8. How do clams communicate?
They use shell phones!
9. Why was the fish so bad at tennis?
Because it couldn’t serve!
10. What did the whale say to the octopus?
You’re ink-credible!
11. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
12. What kind of music do dolphins listen to?
Anything with a good fin-groove!
13. Why did the jellyfish go to school?
To improve its sting-ducation!
14. How do you catch a fish with no eyes?
You use a net and some good sense!
15. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! Oh, wait, that’s a land pun!
16. Why did the scallop not share its food?
Because it was a little shellfish!
17. What do you call an optimistic fish?
A hopefish!
18. Why do fish always know what to say?
Because they have great gill-iq!
19. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved!
20. Why are fish so great at basketball?
Because they know how to make great splash shots!
Nautical Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Fish you were here!
2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a jellyfish!
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sailor.
Sailor who?
Sailor, we’re running out of jokes here!
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Octopus.
Octopus who?
Octo-pus the door open, will you?
5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nautilus.
Nautilus who?
Nautilus I’m telling you jokes!
6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wave.
Wave who?
Wave goodbye! I’m off to the ocean!
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Algae.
Algae who?
Algae you some great jokes!
8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Buoy.
Buoy who?
Buoy oh buoy, this is fun!
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Captain.
Captain who?
Captain obvious, got any more jokes?
10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Coral.
Coral who?
Coral you believe these are funny?
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anchor.
Anchor who?
Anchor you believe it’s almost done?
12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shell.
Shell who?
Shell we dance at the ocean party?
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kraken.
Kraken who?
Kraken open a cold drink!
14. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lobster.
Lobster who?
Lobster your sense of humor!
15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tide.
Tide who?
Tide of waiting, let’s swim!
16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fishsticks.
Fishsticks who?
Fishsticks and chips for dinner?
17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Guppy.
Guppy who?
Guppy up those good vibes!
18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mackerel.
Mackerel who?
Mackerel-tastic to meet you!
19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Seashell.
Seashell who?
Seashell we dance or just float?
20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Plankton.
Plankton who?
Plankton my doorbell!
Fishy One-Liners
1. What do fish say when they hit a wall?
Dam!
2. How do fish get high marks in school?
They’re always on the honor scale!
3. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
4. What’s a fish’s favorite instrument?
The bass guitar!
5. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
6. What do you call a smart fish?
A wiseguppy!
7. Why are fish such good musicians?
Because they know all the scales!
8. What do you call a fish that practices ballet?
A dace!
9. How do you communicate with fish?
You drop them a line!
10. What do fish use to write their essays?
A fish pen!
11. What’s a fish’s favorite game?
Go Fish!
12. Why did the fisherman get kicked out of school?
He kept getting hooked on the wrong subject!
13. What do you call a fish that can play piano?
A tuna with great scales!
14. Why did the salmon cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
15. What did the fish say when it was asked to play music?
I can’t, I’m too caught up!
16. How do fish tell each other to be quiet?
They use their gill-lects!
17. Why do fish love basketball?
Because they’re great at making alley-oops!
18. What’s a fisherman’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good catchy beat!
19. Why did the anchovy break up with the sardine?
It found someone more appealing!
20. What did one fish say to the other at the party?
Stop floundering around and have some fun!
Ocean-Themed Riddles
1. What has a neck but no head?
A bottle of ocean water!
2. What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left?
Your left hand!
3. What makes waves but never goes anywhere?
The ocean!
4. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I live by the sea. What am I?
An echo!
5. What is full of holes but still holds water?
A sponge!
6. What flies without wings?
Time—it goes by like a wave!
7. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
A postage stamp of the ocean!
8. What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
The future tides!
9. You see me once in June, twice in November, but not at all in May. What am I?
The letter “e” in sea!
10. What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel after a dip in the ocean!
11. What has keys but can’t open locks?
A piano at the seaside!
12. I have cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water. What am I?
A map of the ocean!
13. What starts with an “e,” ends with an “e,” but only contains one letter?
An envelope for ocean mail!
14. What has one eye but can’t see?
A needle, just like a fisherman’s tackle!
15. What has teeth but cannot bite?
A comb we use to fish for compliments!
16. What can you catch but not throw?
A cold after swimming!
17. What requires an ocean of water but is never wet?
A map of the sea!
18. What has legs but doesn’t walk?
A beach chair!
19. What can be broken but is never held?
A promise made on a sailing trip!
20. What has a thumb and four fingers but is not a hand?
A glove you wear while fishing!
Whale of a Time Jokes
1. Why don’t whales ever get lost?
Because they always follow the current!
2. What did the whale say to the dolphin at the party?
Let’s really make a splash!
3. Why did the whale feel good about itself?
It finally learned to love its blubber!
4. What do you call a whale that can play piano?
A toot-orial genius!
5. How do you know when a whale is telling a joke?
It has a great sense of marine humor!
6. What did one whale say to another during lunch?
You’re looking a bit blubbery today!
7. Why do whales never play cards?
They’re afraid of cheaters in the sea!
8. What do you get when a whale makes a mistake?
A blubbering fool!
9. Why did the whale break up with the fish?
Because it was always swimming in shallow waters!
10. What’s a whale’s favorite fast food?
Anything served with a side of ocean fries!
11. Why did the baby whale get a job?
To help pay for its blubber expenses!
12. How do whales keep in touch?
They just drop a line!
13. What’s a whale’s favorite exercise?
The dolphin dive!
14. Why do whales make terrible secret agents?
Because they always blow their cover!
15. What did the whale say to its friend during a tough time?
Don’t worry, I’ll always be here to buoy you up!
16. Why did the blue whale go to school?
To improve its whale-ucation!
17. How does a whale say goodbye?
Catch you on the flip side of the ocean!
18. What do you call a whale who loves to dance?
The blubber-jiggler!
19. Why did the whale bring a suitcase to the ocean?
Because it was going on a long tide trip!
20. What do you call a whale that’s a good storyteller?
A whale of tales!
Shellfish Humor
1. What do you call a crab that throws things?
A lob-star!
2. Why did the shrimp share its treasure?
Because it was feeling a little shellfish!
3. How do shellfish get around?
They use a shellphone!
4. What did the oyster say to the clam?
You’re really shelling out compliments today!
5. Why don’t clams ever get lost?
Because they always follow their gut feeling!
6. What’s a clam’s favorite game?
Hide and go shell!
7. Why did the crab never get along with its peers?
Because it was too crabby!
8. What do you call a crab who tells jokes?
A pun-derwater comedian!
9. Why did the lobster blush?
Because it saw the ocean bottom!
10. How do you make a clam giggle?
You tickle its shell-f!
11. What do you call a crustacean that writes songs?
A rock lobster!
12. Why did the shrimp refuse to play cards?
Because it was afraid of cheaters in the sea!
13. What did one shell say to the other?
You crack me up!
14. How does a lobster greet its friends?
With a clawsome hello!
15. Why did the scallop break up with the fish?
Because it found someone a bit more shell-acious!
16. What did the crab say at the party?
Let’s get cracking!
17. Why did the clam go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little under the shell!
18. How do you know if a crab is smart?
It always has its mind in the right shell!
19. What kind of music do shells listen to?
Anything that’s shell-ectric!
20. Why was the crab always invited to parties?
Because it really knows how to shell-ebrate!
Captain’s Quips
1. Why did the captain always bring a pencil on the ship?
In case he had to draw the line at a bad joke!
2. How did the captain greet the ocean?
“Water you doing today?”
3. Why was the captain such a great musician?
Because he knew how to orchestrate the waves!
4. What did the captain say to motivate the crew?
“Let’s turn the tide in our favor!”
5. Why did the captain refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of getting caught at sea with a bad hand!
6. How does a captain tell his crew to hurry up?
“Ship it out guys!”
7. Why was the captain so good at geography?
He always knew the latitude and longitude of fun!
8. What did the captain say after a long voyage?
“I’m absolutely o-fish-ally exhausted!”
9. Why did the captain start a gardening business?
He had a green thumb and wanted to grow sea-weed!
10. How do captains prefer their coffee?
With plenty of ship and foam!
11. What’s a captain’s favorite type of math?
It’s all about the right angles while navigating!
12. Why did the captain get kicked out of class?
He kept calling for “all hands on deck!”
13. What do you call a captain who can’t stop dancing?
A boogie-boat captain!
14. How did the captain stay organized on the ship?
He always made a “ship-list”!
15. What did the captain say when asked about his favorite vacation?
“I love every tide of it!”
16. Why did the captain excel at soccer?
Because he had great “ship” control!
17. How does a considerate captain handle bad weather?
He always says, “I’m buoyed up for any storm!”
18. What did the captain name his boat?
“I’m Tired of Land!”
19. Why did the captain teach the crew to paint?
Because every ship needs a fresh coat of paint!
20. What’s a captain’s advice for success?
“Always keep your sails up, no matter the winds of life!”
Marine Life Laughs
1. What do sea turtles use to communicate?
Shell phones!
2. Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
3. How do fish always know which way to go?
Because they have their own school of thought!
4. Why did the starfish lose the race?
Because it couldn’t keep up with the current!
5. What do you call a dolphin that loves to sing?
A tune-a!
6. Why did the sea cucumber stop working?
Because it didn’t want to get in too deep!
7. What game do sharks love to play?
Finn-tertainment!
8. Why are whales such great musicians?
Because they know how to blow everyone away!
9. What do you call a crab who joins the army?
A shell-soldier!
10. How do fish deal with stress?
They just float it out!
11. Why was the seahorse so bad at poker?
Because it always showed its tail!
12. What kind of fish always knows how to play?
A clown fish—they’re quite the jokesters!
13. Why do jellyfish never play hard-to-get?
Because they’re just too transparent!
14. How do you organize a party in the ocean?
You “tide” it all together!
15. Why do sea otters always carry a pillow?
In case they need to take a “sea-nap”!
16. What did the crab say on his birthday?
“I’m crab-solutely ready to celebrate!”
17. Why did the ocean get a job?
It wanted to make some waves in the city!
18. What’s a fish’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with a great plot twist!
19. How do you know when a fish is happy?
It’s always fin-tastic!
20. Why did the fish bring a suitcase to the ocean?
Because it was ready for a vacation to the sandy shores!
Underwater Wisdom
1. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
2. Why did the crab never share its food?
Because it was a little shellfish!
3. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks!
4. Why are fish so bad at basketball?
They always get caught in the net!
5. What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
A fish called NaNa!
6. Why did the fish join a gym?
To scale up its fitness!
7. What’s a shark’s favorite business?
A loan shark!
8. Why do crabs never throw away their old clothes?
Because they always have a spare shell!
9. How do fish get addicted?
They get hooked!
10. Why was the fish so confident?
It believed it was quite the catch!
11. What did the fisherman say to the fish?
You’re looking quite gill-acious today!
12. Why did the fish refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of a shark pulling a fast one!
13. How do fish find their way home?
By using their fishy GPS: Gill Positioning System!
14. Why did the catfish become an artist?
Because it was great at drawing purr-spectives!
15. What do you call a fish with a bad attitude?
A mean mackerel!
16. Why was the octopus such a great teacher?
Because it had multiple ways to explain things!
17. How do oysters share their feelings?
They open up, but only to the right pearls!
18. Why don’t fish need a computer?
Because they always have fins to browse!
19. What do you call a fisherman who tells tall tales?
A reel story-teller!
20. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Sail Away with Jokes
1. Why did the boat get pulled over?
Because it was cruising for a bruising!
2. What did the sailor say to the ocean during a storm?
“You’re really rocking my boat!”
3. Why did the sailor bring a ladder aboard?
To reach new heights on the water!
4. How do you make a sailor smile?
Tell them a “sea-soned” joke!
5. Why are sailors so good at math?
They know how to calculate the tides!
6. What’s a sailor’s favorite exercise?
The plank, of course!
7. Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his “arrr-ticulation!”
8. How does a sailor find their way on a cloudy day?
They just follow their gut instinct!
9. Why did the boat start a band?
Because it had great sails and wanted to make some waves!
10. What did the sailor say when he was asked about his favorite drink?
“Anything with a splash of the ocean!”
11. Why did the fisherman always bring a pencil to the ocean?
In case he wanted to draw a big catch!
12. What’s a sailor’s least favorite vegetable?
A leek!
13. Why do sailors always get along?
Because they know how to navigate rough waters!
14. What did the dolphins say to the boat?
“Stop horsing around and let’s sail!”
15. How do sailors stay in shape?
By doing “ship-ups” and “ocean waves”!
16. Why did the ocean break up with the river?
It wanted to go out with someone more “current”!
17. What did the sailor do when he lost his boat?
He just went with the flow!
18. Why are boats so great at telling jokes?
Because they always know how to float a pun!
19. What did the fish say to the sailor?
“Stop fishing for compliments!”
20. How do sailors cheer each other up?
With a hearty “ahoy” and a good sea story!