As winter blankets the earth and the New Year unfolds, laughter becomes a key ingredient for a cheerful start. I remember one particularly chilly January morning when my friend and I decided to exchange jokes over hot cocoa. It was a simple yet delightful way to chase away the winter blues. Laughter is truly the best medicine, especially when combined with marshmallows! Here are some fun jokes to keep your spirits high this month.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
3. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
4. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
6. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
8. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
9. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
10. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
11. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
12. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
13. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
14. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
15. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
16. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
17. How does a snowman get around?
By riding an “icicle”!
18. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
19. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they always use honeycombs!
20. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
New Year, New Laughs
1. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
2. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory!
3. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
4. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
5. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room!
6. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hey, bud!”
7. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
8. What do you call a bear with no ears?
B!
9. Why did the math teacher break up with the calculator?
She felt it couldn’t function without her!
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite!
11. Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
12. What did one frog say to the other?
“Time’s sure flying; it’s ribbiting!”
13. How do you organize a fantastic space party?
You planet ahead!
14. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus!
15. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
16. How does the ocean say hello?
It waves!
17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
18. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks?
In case he made a hole in one!
19. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
20. Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Winter Wonders
1. What do you get when it rains cats and dogs?
You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
2. Why did the snowman call for a carrot appointment?
He heard he needed to get his nose fixed!
3. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out!
4. Why did the cold weather cross the road?
To get to the other side where it was warmer!
5. What’s a winter’s favorite snack?
Chowder popcorn!
6. Why was the broom late to the winter party?
It swept in right at the last minute!
7. What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!
8. How do you know winter is here?
You can freeze eggs on the sidewalk!
9. Why did the snowman take a vacation?
He wanted to chill out somewhere warmer!
10. What’s a snowman’s favorite type of music?
Anything that’s ice-cold tunes!
11. Why was the snowflake so well-liked?
Because it was one of a kind!
12. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?
A comedi-deer!
13. Why did the snowball take a break?
It was getting too heated!
14. How do you know it’s really winter?
Because your car needs to be thawed before you can drive!
15. What did the winter storm say to the shovel?
“Let’s stop meeting like this!”
16. Why don’t winter animals like to play cards?
Because there are too many cheetahs around!
17. What do you call a snowman party?
A frost fest!
18. Why do igloos have a lot of music?
Because they’re in-tune with the ice!
19. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Ice tea!
20. Why did the frosty party get canceled?
Because everyone melted!
Fresh Starts and Funny Parts
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. How did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
3. What did one plate say to another plate?
Dinner’s on me!
4. Why did the computer go to the dentist?
It had a bluetooth!
5. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream!
6. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
7. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
8. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
9. What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
10. How does the ocean say hello?
It waves!
11. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired!
12. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
13. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
14. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
15. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
16. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
17. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels!
18. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
19. How do cows stay up to date with current events?
They read the moos-paper!
20. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
Resolutions Gone Wrong
1. Why was the computer cold?
Because it left its Windows open!
2. What did one New Year’s resolution say to the other?
“Let’s stick together and see how long we last!”
3. Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarterback!
4. How did the New Year’s Eve party end?
With a bang, but my resolutions fizzled!
5. Why do New Year’s resolutions always end in failure?
Because they make too many promises and don’t deliver!
6. Why did the procrastinator break up with his resolution?
He just couldn’t commit!
7. What’s a New Year’s resolution’s least favorite game?
The blame game!
8. What do you call a resolution that doesn’t get followed?
A “re-solution”!
9. Why was the gym always crowded in January?
Everyone wanted to start off on the right foot, but many were still finding the left!
10. Why did the calendar break up with the planner?
It found its days numbered!
11. What do you call an unreliable resolution?
A “wish”-olution!
12. Why was the resolution frustrated?
Because it felt it was being let down by everyone else!
13. What did the diet say to the exercise plan?
“I can’t do this without you, but I hope you’ll last!”
14. Why did the resolutions take a vacation?
They were burnt out from too much commitment!
15. How does a resolution stay in shape?
It keeps running from itself!
16. What’s a personal trainer’s favorite time of year?
Resolution season; everyone wants to change!
17. Why did the resolution apply for a loan?
To buy some more time!
18. What’s harder than sticking to a resolution?
Apologizing to your January self in February!
19. Why did the treadmill break up with the New Year’s resolution?
Because it felt like all it did was run in circles!
20. What did the New Year’s resolution say to its competition?
“May the best self win!”
Snowy Situations
1. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out!
2. How do you know it’s really winter?
Because your car needs to be thawed before you can drive!
3. Why don’t winter animals like to play cards?
Because there are too many cheetahs around!
4. What do you call a reindeer’s favorite music?
Anything but sleigh bells!
5. What did the winter storm say to the shovel?
“Let’s stop meeting like this!”
6. Why was the snowman looking for a new job?
He wanted to break the ice!
7. How do you catch a snowman?
Cold hands!
8. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Ice tea!
9. Why did the cold weather cross the road?
To get to the other side where it was warmer!
10. What did one snowflake say to the other?
“Catch you later, you flake!”
11. Why did the snowball take a break?
It was getting too heated!
12. How does a snowman get around in winter?
By riding an “icicle”!
13. Why was the broom late to the winter party?
It swept in right at the last minute!
14. Why was the snowflake so well-liked?
Because it was one of a kind!
15. What do you call a snowman party?
A frost fest!
16. Why did the snowman call for a carrot appointment?
He heard he needed to get his nose fixed!
17. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
18. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?
Frostbite!
19. Why did the igloo break up with the house?
Because it found something cooler!
20. How do you know winter is here?
You can freeze eggs on the sidewalk!
Fresh Starts in January
1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
2. Why did the train driver always carry a pencil?
In case he needed to draw his own conclusions during winter delays!
3. What do you call ice in a soda?
A chill pill!
4. Why was the snowman at the beach?
He wanted to catch some rays!
5. What does a snowman have for breakfast?
Frosted flakes!
6. Why did the winter coat break up with the sweater?
It found someone cooler!
7. What’s a snowman’s favorite game?
Freeze tag!
8. Why did the winter tree need a haircut?
It wanted to branch out!
9. How do you know it’s cold outside?
When ducks are wearing their Bill Cosby sweaters!
10. What did one snowflake say to the other while falling?
“Let’s make it a flurry of fun!”
11. What kind of math do snowmen love?
Cool-culus!
12. Why don’t snowmen ever get into arguments?
Because they always take a chill pill!
13. What do you call snowmen facing off?
A frost fight!
14. Why did the snowman ask for a raise?
Because he felt he was getting the cold shoulder!
15. What do you call a gingerbread man who’s a snowman friend?
A cookie with an ice-olated personality!
16. Why was the snowman feeling depressed?
He had a melt-down!
17. How does a snowman keep track of his appointments?
With a snow calendar!
18. What did the snowman say when offered a carrot?
“Why, that’s unbe-leaf-able!”
19. Why did the lady bring a ladder to the snowstorm?
To reach new heights in winter fun!
20. What do skiers do when they get bored?
They go downhill at full speed!
Punny Jokes to Start the Year
1. What do you call a snowman with a great sense of humor?
A flake comedian!
2. Why did January break up with December?
Because it wanted to start fresh!
3. What did one calendar say to the other?
“New year, new dates!”
4. Why do January flowers bloom?
Because they’re ready to make a fresh start!
5. What musical instrument do snowmen like?
The cooler!
6. Why did the snowman join a fitness class?
To get rid of his winter weight!
7. What did the winter fruit say to the snowman?
“I’m not afraid to get a little chill!”
8. How do you know January is optimistic?
Because it always has high hopes for the new year!
9. Why was the broom excited about the new year?
It was ready to sweep the past away!
10. What’s a snowman’s favorite game on New Year’s Eve?
“Freeze the year!”
11. Why did the candle break up with the match?
Because it wanted to light a new path!
12. How does a snowman stay warm in January?
By freezing things up with some cool jokes!
13. What did the snowman say to the sun?
“Stay cool, it’s January!”
14. Why do people embrace New Year’s resolutions?
Because they want to turn over a new leaf… and maybe even help it stay green!
15. How does one snowflake greet another in January?
“Happy New Year, let’s make it a flurry of fun!”
16. Why don’t resolutions ever play hide and seek?
Because they always get found in January!
17. What do you call a snowman who loves fresh starts?
A re-fresh-man!
18. Why did January get a job?
To afford some New Year’s cheer!
19. What happens when snowmen don’t get their fresh starts?
They melt under pressure!
20. Why was January the most popular month?
Because everyone loved the new beginnings it offered!
Winter Sports Whims
1. Why did the skier bring a ladder to the mountain?
To reach new heights!
2. What do you call a snowman who loves to ski?
An avalanche waiting to happen!
3. Why did the snowboarder bring string to the slope?
To tie the slopes together!
4. What did the ice skater say when they got a new pair of skates?
“Let’s get this party skating!”
5. How do you organize a snowball fight?
You plan-it out!
6. What’s a skater’s favorite type of music?
Anything that’s ice cold!
7. Why did the polar bear prefer winter sports?
He couldn’t bear the heat!
8. What do you call a competitive snowman?
An icebreaker!
9. Why are snowboards so good at telling jokes?
They always nail the punchline!
10. How do snowmen communicate in the winter?
They chill and text!
11. What do you call someone who loves winter sports but hates the cold?
A hot tub athlete!
12. Why did the figure skater bring a broom?
To sweep the competition off their feet!
13. What did the snowboarder say to the mountain?
“Let’s ride this wave of snow!”
14. Why did the ice skater go broke?
Because they couldn’t find their balance!
15. What’s a snowman’s favorite winter sport?
Frosty skiing!
16. Why do snowflakes make great athletes?
Because they really drop the ball and shine!
17. How do you catch a runaway ski?
Chase it down the slope!
18. What did the ski instructor say to motivate his class?
“Let’s carve out some fun today!”
19. Why did the winter Olympics become so popular?
Because they were ice-tastic!
20. What do you call a misbehaving ice cube?
A cold troublemaker!
Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day
1. Why was the snowman always so calm?
Because he knew how to keep his cool!
2. What did the snowman say as he took the ice skating rink by storm?
“Let’s get ready to glide!”
3. Why did the figure skater bring a pencil to practice?
To draw her best moves!
4. What’s a snowman’s favorite form of exercise?
Chill workouts!
5. Why do athletes love winter?
They can always snowball their way to a victory!
6. What do you call a competitive snowball thrower?
A snow-lympian!
7. Why did the skier join the band?
Because he knew how to hit the slopes and the right notes!
8. What did the snowboard say during the competition?
“I’m going to shred it today!”
9. How do snowmen stay upbeat when competing?
They rely on their ice-olation techniques!
10. Why was the ice hockey player always late?
He kept getting stuck in a “slap shot”!
11. What’s a winter sports fan’s favorite drink?
Ice tea!
12. Why did the cheerleader always wear winter gear?
She wanted to “frost” her competition!
13. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a speed skater?
Frosty feet!
14. Why do skiers make terrible friends?
Because they’re always getting downhill about things!
15. How did the cold weather get fit?
By joining the “snow gym”!
16. What do snowmen use to navigate during winter sports?
Frosty GPS, of course!
17. Why was the figure skater’s performance so electrifying?
Because they really brought the spark to the rink!
18. How do you know if a ski resort is friendly?
They always welcome all types of “slopes”!
19. What did the ice skater bring to the picnic?
Chill snacks!
20. Why did the snowball join the gym?
It wanted to become a real “hard ball” player!
End of January Chuckles
1. Why did the winter coat break up with the sweater?
It found someone cooler!
2. Why did the snowman get a job at the bakery?
Because he kneaded the dough!
3. What do you call a snowman on roller skates?
A snowman with a sweet glide!
4. Why was the math book happy on Martin Luther King Jr. Day?
Because it had a lot of solutions!
5. What did one snowflake say to the other?
“You make me melt!”
6. Why did the cold weather take a break?
It needed some time to chill out!
7. How does the snowman stay in shape?
He does “frost” training!
8. What did the snowball say to the ice cube?
“You crack me up!”
9. How do you make a snowman laugh?
You tickle its belly with a carrot!
10. What do you call an optimistic snowman?
A “glass half full”-man!
11. Why did the cup of hot chocolate go to therapy?
Because it had some emotional marshmallows stuck within!
12. Why was the snow layer so thick?
It couldn’t resist a good build-up!
13. What do you call a cheerful winter vacation?
A “snow-mad adventure”!
14. Why did the snow child start a band?
Because they wanted to play cool tunes!
15. What did the snowman say while skiing?
“I’ve got a great slope of humor!”
16. Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the snow?
Because it was embarrassed to be out in winter!
17. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a detective?
Frosty the “snow”-le investigator!
18. Why did the ice skater bring a ladder?
To reach new heights in performance!
19. What do you call a snowman who says it’s too warm?
A “chill-axer”!
20. Why was the February snowman so relaxed?
Because he went through a tough melt-down in January!