Every year, my friends and I gather around the TV for the Super Bowl, armed with snacks and a collection of the worst puns imaginable. Last year, as we watched the halftime show, my buddy made a joke about the “score” of the performance, and we couldn’t stop laughing. It turned into a full-blown competition to see who could come up with the most ridiculous puns throughout the game. Here’s the best compilation from our hilarious episode, because nothing brings friends together quite like laughter!
1. What did one football say to the other?
Aren’t you a little stuffed for the game?
2. Why don’t football players get lost?
Because they always follow the game plan!
3. What did the coach say to the ball?
Don’t be deflated, just play!
4. Why do football players make terrible bakers?
They can’t seem to knead the dough correctly!
5. How do football players stay cool during the game?
They stand next to their fans!
6. What do you call a marshmallow that plays football?
A fluffback!
7. Why did the quarterback bring string to the game?
To tie up the score!
8. What do you call a football player who never loses?
A re-fuse!
9. Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarterback!
10. What’s a football player’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a lot of good beats!
11. How did the football team celebrate their win?
They threw a touchdown party!
12. Why did the football player bring a ladder?
To reach new heights in his game!
13. What runs but never walks?
A football field!
14. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way to the game?
It lost its bearings!
15. What’s a football player’s favorite snack?
Touchdown chips!
16. How did the soccer ball make a bad call?
It kicked itself out of bounds!
17. What do you call a football player with a great sense of humor?
A punter!
18. Why did the football go to school?
To get a little “kicking” education!
19. What do you call it when a football team scores a lot?
A net gain!
20. Why was the football player a great musician?
Because he had a great rhythm on the field!
Classic Football Puns
1. Why did the football always get invited to parties?
Because it was a real “kick”!
2. What happens when a football player tells a joke?
It gets a great “reception”!
3. How does a football team talk?
They always communicate via “huddle”!
4. Why do football players love nature?
Because they know how to take a hike!
5. What did the ball say to the referee?
“You really know how to make a tough call!”
6. Why did the football go to art school?
To learn how to draw a crowd!
7. What do you call a football player who can play any position?
Versatile and “goal-iented”!
8. Why do football players never get lost in a game?
They have a compass in their “playbook”!
9. How do you make a tissue dance at a football game?
Put a little “moisture” in it!
10. Why did the football stadium get hot?
Because all the fans left the “heat” on!
11. What’s a football player’s favorite thing to wear?
Football cleats, because they “kick” it up a notch!
12. Why did the football player sit on the clock?
He wanted to be on time for his “snap”!
13. What do you call a football that tells good stories?
A real “tale” spinner!
14. Why did the football fail its exam?
It was too “deflated” to study!
15. What do you call it when a football team gets lost?
A “penalty” for not following the play!
16. How do you organize a fantastic football game?
You “plan” it like a pro!
17. Why did the football always carry a map?
To navigate through the “field”!
18. What do you get when you cross a football with a comedian?
A “pun” tackle!
19. Why was the football team good at chess?
Because they knew how to block their opponents!
20. What’s a football player’s favorite candy?
Touchdown Taffy!
Quarterback Quips
1. Why did the quarterback go broke?
Because he kept losing his “change”!
2. What do you call a quarterback who tells jokes?
A punter with timing!
3. Why did the quarterback bring a pencil to the game?
In case he had to draw up a play!
4. How did the quarterback feel after the game?
He was on a real “high” after all those touchdowns!
5. Why was the quarterback’s favorite game outside of football Chess?
He loved making the perfect “moves”!
6. What did the quarterback say to the player who missed the catch?
“Don’t worry, it’s just a drop in the bucket!”
7. Why was the quarterback always calm under pressure?
He knew how to “pass” the stress!
8. What do you call a quarterback who loves nature?
A “leaf” passer!
9. Why did the quarterback refuse to play cards?
He didn’t want anyone “dealing” him bad hands!
10. What did the quarterback name his pet fish?
“Tackle” because he was always swimming along!
11. Why was the quarterback a great comedian?
He knew how to throw in a punch line!
12. How do quarterbacks stay fit during the off-season?
They “exercise” their right to throw!
13. What do you call a quarterback who takes too long to throw?
A “delay” of game!
14. Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to practice?
To reach new “heights” in his game!
15. What’s a quarterback’s favorite drink?
Anything served in a “cup” after a touchdown!
16. How do you keep a quarterback’s secrets safe?
With a “tight end”!
17. Why couldn’t the quarterback join the choir?
He couldn’t find the right pitch!
18. What did the quarterback say to the cheerleaders?
“You really know how to boost a guy’s morale!”
19. Why did the quarterback always carry a notebook?
To keep track of his “quarters” on and off the field!
20. How did the quarterback feel after a tough loss?
He knew he just had to “bounce back”!
Touchdown Jokes
1. What do you call a football player who can make plays in the end zone?
A touchdown maker!
2. Why don’t dancers play football?
Because they can’t get their “steps” right for a touchdown!
3. What did the football say after scoring a touchdown?
“That’s how you make a point!”
4. Why did the football team bring string to the game?
To tie up the score after a touchdown!
5. What kind of music do you play when the team scores?
Touchdown tunes!
6. Why did the football player go to the bank after the game?
To check his “touchdown balance”!
7. How does a football player express enthusiasm?
He really knows how to “celebrate” a touchdown!
8. What do you call a game where everyone scores?
A touchdown party!
9. What did the referee say after a spectacular touchdown?
“Now that’s what I call a ‘call’ worth making!”
10. Why did the scarecrow become a football player?
Because he was outstanding in his “field” with touchdowns!
11. How do you know when a football player is in good spirits?
They’re all smiles after a touchdown!
12. What did the coach say when his player made a big catch?
“It’s all about the ‘touch’ and the ‘down’!”
13. Why are touchdowns like good stories?
Because they always have great endings!
14. What did one team say to the other before scoring a touchdown?
“Get ready for a victory lap!”
15. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
Because she always ran away from the touchdown!
16. How did the football team react to their winning touchdown?
With a lot of “hype” and “cheer”!
17. What did the player do after scoring a touchdown?
He did a little victory dance, of course!
18. Why do football players love the end zone?
Because it’s the place where dreams “score”!
19. How can you tell when a football party is a success?
When everyone’s talking about the touchdowns!
20. What do you call a memorable touchdown?
A highlight in football history!
Game Day Humor
1. Why don’t secret agents play football?
Because they’re afraid of blowing their cover during game day!
2. What did one player say to the other at the big game?
“Let’s tackle this day with enthusiasm!”
3. Why do football players love outdoor games?
Because they can always bring their A-game to the field!
4. How did the football fan get through the game?
With a lot of “patience” and a few good puns!
5. Why was the game day a blast?
Everyone brought their “A” game—and their best jokes!
6. What do football fans do when they hear a great joke?
They ‘huddle’ together to share laughs!
7. Why did the chicken join the football team?
To prove it wasn’t just there for the “egg-citement”!
8. How do fans celebrate a good game?
With plenty of cheering and “play by play” jokes!
9. What’s a football fan’s favorite part of the game?
All the “pun-derful” moments!
10. Why do footballs make bad friends?
Because they tend to get a little “deflated” during bad games!
11. How do you know someone is a die-hard football fan?
They can’t stop “passing” jokes around!
12. What did the football say to the snack before the game?
“Let’s have some fun and make a ‘point’!”
13. Why did the fan bring a broom to the game?
To sweep the competition off their feet!
14. What do you call it when fans go wild for the team?
A “fan-tastic” moment!
15. Why did the football player always carry a pencil?
In case he needed to draft up a victory plan!
16. How did fans react to the last-minute touchdown?
They just couldn’t believe their “eyes” in a great way!
17. Why do fans always bring extra food to the game?
Because you never know when things will get “hungry” on the field!
18. What do you call a great fan?
A true “game changer”!
19. Why did the football stadium have a great sense of humor?
Because it knew how to “laugh” at itself every halftime!
20. What’s a football fan’s favorite mode of transportation?
A “team” bus, where the fun never stops!
Halftime Hilarity
1. Why did the halftime performer bring a ladder?
To reach new heights in their show!
2. What did the stadium say during halftime?
“I need to catch my breath!”
3. How do you know when a halftime show is a hit?
When the crowd is “clapping” and “cheering” like it’s game day!
4. What did the singer say when asked to lead the halftime show?
“Let’s make it a real ‘blast’!”
5. Why was the player excited about halftime?
He finally got to take a “kick” back and relax!
6. What do you call a halftime show that goes wrong?
A real “fumble” in entertainment!
7. Why did everyone love the halftime singer?
Because they always hit the right “notes”!
8. What’s a football team’s favorite part of the halftime show?
All the “intermission” puns!
9. How did the dancers prepare for halftime?
They warmed up their “moves” all week long!
10. Why are halftime performers great at football?
Because they always know how to “dance” around the competition!
11. What did one fan say during halftime?
“The show is as great as a last-second touchdown!”
12. How do halftime shows stay organized?
With plenty of “rehearsals” and “huddles”!
13. Why did the halftime performer win an award?
They really took the stage by “storm”!
14. What’s a football fan’s favorite halftime snack?
“Halftime nachos”—because they’re always a crowd-pleaser!
15. Why did the cheerleaders join the halftime show?
They wanted to “cheer” for more than just the team!
16. How did the audience feel after the halftime performance?
As if they had just witnessed a “touchdown” of talent!
17. What did the commentator say after the halftime show ended?
“Now that’s what I call ‘entertainment’ with a capital E!”
18. Why did the football player take music lessons during the off-season?
To work on his “halftime harmonies”!
19. What’s the best thing about halftime for fans?
Having a break to enjoy all the “fun and games”!
20. How did the halftime performer describe their act?
“A real ‘showstopper’ that would score big points!”
Fan Funnies
1. What did one fan say while watching the game from the cheap seats?
“I’m just here for the ‘cheers’!”
2. Why did the football fan sit on his watch?
He wanted to be on time for the big game!
3. How do football fans like their coffee?
With a lot of “grounds” for excitement!
4. Why did the football team bring a band-aid to the game?
In case they faced any “wounds” during the match!
5. What do you call a fan who loves to give advice?
A “coach” on the sidelines!
6. Why did the guy bring a pencil to the big game?
To draw up his game day plans!
7. How do football fans show their love?
With plenty of “touchdown hugs”!
8. Why don’t zombies make great football fans?
Because they always seem to eat up the competition!
9. What’s a football fan’s favorite exercise?
Punt squats!
10. Why did the fan wear two neckties to the game?
He wanted to be “overdressed” for the occasion!
11. What do you call a fan who can play ukulele?
A “harmony” expert!
12. Why did the football fan go broke?
He couldn’t “pass” up a good seat!
13. What did the football say to the excited fan?
“Thanks for the ‘kick’ in enthusiasm!”
14. How does a fan stay warm at a cold game?
By bringing their “team spirit”!
15. Why was the football fan always happy?
Because he knew how to tackle challenges with a grin!
16. What’s a football fan’s favorite smartphone app?
The one that alerts them on all the “coverage”!
17. How did the football fan react after a bad ref call?
With a healthy dose of “humor”—and maybe a snack!
18. Why did the fan refuse to play cards at the game?
He knew too many would just “shuffle” the team dynamics!
19. What do you get when you cross a football fan with a dance instructor?
A lot of “celebration” moves after each touchdown!
20. How does a football fan make sure they don’t miss a play?
They stay glued to their “game plan”!
Food and Drink Puns
1. What do you call a hamburger that plays football?
A “smash” burger!
2. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing for the game!
3. What did the nachos say to the cheese?
“You’re the “dip” in my game day!”
4. Why do pastries make terrible football players?
Because they always crumble under pressure!
5. How do football players like their eggs?
With plenty of “touchdown” toast!
6. What do you call a snack that never gets in trouble?
A “good chip”!
7. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the game?
Because it ran out of juice!
8. What’s a football player’s favorite dessert?
Goal-line gelato!
9. Why did the cupcake go to the game?
To cheer on its “big batter”!
10. What’s a football fan’s favorite picnic food?
Touchdown sandwiches!
11. How do you organize a football cookout?
Just “grill” it like you mean it!
12. Why did the waiter bring a football to the dining table?
He wanted to serve up some “fantasy plays”!
13. What do you call a grilled cheese that plays football?
A “cheesy tackle”!
14. Why don’t football players ever eat snacks during a game?
They’re afraid of getting a “penalty for holding”!
15. How did the popcorn get to the game?
In a “pop” up camper!
16. What do you call a team that only runs on snacks?
A “crunch” time squad!
17. Why was the burrito always calm?
Because it knew it was well-“wrapped”!
18. What did the lemonade say to the team?
“I’m here to refresh your game day!”
19. What’s a football team’s favorite vegetable?
“Rugby carrots”—they add crunch and flair!
20. Why do lollipops never play football?
Because they always get stuck in “sticky plays”!
Punny Player Names
1. What do you call a football player who loves to sing?
A “jam” quarterback!
2. What’s a football fan’s favorite fish?
A “tuna” that scores big!
3. Why did the football player switch to gardening?
He wanted to improve his “ground game”!
4. What did the running back say after an injury?
“I’m just going to take a quick “rehigh”!”
5. How does a football player love his coffee?
With a lot of “grounds” for excitement!
6. What’s a football player’s go-to dessert?
Touchdown tiramisu!
7. Why did the quarterback always pack a picnic?
Because he loves a little “tackle” on the field!
8. What do you call a quarterback who loves spicy food?
A hotshot!
9. Why was the football coach also a great chef?
Because he always had a recipe for success!
10. What’s a football player’s favorite type of sandwich?
A subs-stantial hoagie!
11. How do you know the football team did well on their diet?
They had a clean “cut” record!
12. Why did the football snack go to school?
To get a little “sharp” cheddar!
13. What’s a football player’s preferred fruit?
A touchdown “pear”!
14. How do players stay hydrated?
By scoring big with “winning” smoothies!
15. What do you call a football player who loves cake?
A “cakeback”!
16. Why did the dessert join the football team?
It wanted to be part of a sweet victory!
17. What did the coach say to the player who brought cookies?
“Now that’s a real game-changer!”
18. Why do fruits make good football players?
Because they always “juice” the competition!
19. What happens when a team can’t bring the snacks?
They throw a “food for thought” party!
20. How do players in the kitchen measure success?
By their “yardage” of delicious meals!
Referee Riddles
1. Why did the referee bring a pencil to the game?
In case he had to draw a penalty!
2. What do you call it when a referee makes a bad call?
A “ref-lection” of his judgment!
3. Why don’t referees tell secrets on the field?
Because the players might “call” them out!
4. How do referees stay calm during a game?
They know how to “keep their cool” under pressure!
5. What did the football say to the referee?
“I can’t believe you flagged that!”
6. Why are referees great comedians?
Because they always know how to deliver a punch(line)!
7. Why did the referee apply for a job at the bakery?
Because he’s great at making “calls” on dough!
8. Why do referees make terrible dancers?
Because they always get “penalized” for stepping on the toes!
9. What’s a referee’s favorite game?
“Red card”—it’s always a hit!
10. Why was the referee a hit at parties?
Because they always know when to throw a “flag”!
11. How do referees make sure everyone knows the rules?
With a clear “signal” before every game!
12. What did the referee say after missing a call?
“Guess I’m still working on my ‘ref-lexes’!”
13. Why did the referee get a promotion?
Because he always stayed fair under pressure!
14. How did the referee respond to a confused player?
“It’s all in the ‘rulebook’!”
15. Why was the referee’s phone always busy?
He was constantly taking “calls” from the sidelines!
16. What did the referee say to the team after a tough loss?
“Chin up, every call counts!”
17. What do you call a referee who plays the violin?
“Foul Strings”!
18. Why did the referee join the choir?
Because he wanted to work on his “pitch”!
19. What did the referee say when asked to officiate a party?
“I’m ready to call the shots!”
20. What do referees wear to formal events?
Black and white “tie” for a classy “call”!