Valentine’s Day can be a rollercoaster of emotions. I remember a year when I decided to express my feelings through a homemade card. I was feeling pretty confident until I realized my artistic skills were more stick figures than Picasso. I attempted to add some humor to the card, thinking it would lighten the mood. My friends say laughter is the best love language, so here are some jokes that capture the fun side of this romantic holiday!
1. What did one heart say to the other?
“You crack me up!”
2. Why did the skeleton not ask anyone to be his Valentine?
He didn’t have the guts!
3. What do you call a love letter from a cat?
Purr-sonal!
4. Why did the couple go to the gym on Valentine’s Day?
Because they wanted their relationship to work out!
5. What did Cupid say to the sad arrow?
“It’s time to get back in the game!”
6. Why did the girl bring a ladder to the date?
Because she wanted to reach new heights in love!
7. What did the light bulb say to its partner?
“I love you a watt!”
8. How do you know your Valentine is good at math?
Because they’ve already solved for X in your heart!
9. Why did the computer break up with its girlfriend?
There was a byte of drama!
10. What kind of flower is the best at flirting?
A lily, because it’s always looking to “lily” you away!
11. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet-hearts!
12. What did one bee say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re bee-autiful!”
13. How did the phone propose?
With a ring!
14. Why did the boy bring a pencil to his date?
In case he needed to draw his feelings!
15. What is a vampire’s favorite place on a date?
A neck-tional park!
16. Why did the boy give his girlfriend a huge bag of chips?
Because she was his “crispy” companion!
17. What did the pickle say to his Valentine?
“I relish our time together!”
18. Why did the traffic light turn red?
It saw the couple holding hands and blushed!
19. What does a ghost say on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you boo!”
20. Why are relationships like algebra?
Because you look at your X and wonder why you were together!
Classic Valentine’s Jokes
1. What do you call a very small Valentine?
A valentiney!
2. Why did the man break up with his girlfriend before Valentine’s Day?
He couldn’t find a good card!
3. How do you propose to a chocolate lover?
With a sweet ring!
4. What do you call a love story between two shoes?
A sole-mate saga!
5. Why did the girl sit on the clock?
Because she wanted to be on time for love!
6. What did the man say to the woman who asked if he was busy?
“I’m only busy losing my heart!”
7. What is a valentine’s favorite type of music?
Heart rock!
8. What did one cat say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re paw-sitively adorable!”
9. Why do trees have a hard time dating?
Because they’re stuck in their roots!
10. What did the bee give to his Valentine?
Honey and a smile!
11. How do you tell a joke on Valentine’s Day?
With a love punchline!
12. Why did the flowers break up with the gardener?
There was a lack of interest!
13. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
“I’m stuck on you!”
14. How did the couple make their relationship last?
They built it on puns and trust!
15. What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is a musician’s favorite?
A sweet note!
16. Why did the boy bring string to the date?
Because he wanted to tie the knot!
17. What’s a vampire’s favorite dessert on Valentine’s Day?
Chocolate covered necks!
18. What did the heart say during the breakup?
“It’s not you, it’s my rhythm!”
19. Why didn’t the skeleton go on a date?
He didn’t have a heart to offer!
20. Why was the Valentine card so confident?
It knew it had the right appeal!
Punny Love Quotes
1. What do you call a couple that makes bad puns?
A pun-derful pair!
2. How did the Valentine’s burger express its feelings?
With a side of love and fries!
3. Why did the computer get a Valentine?
It had a soft spot for love bytes!
4. What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you!”
5. Why did the boy break up with his calendar?
He felt it was too date-heavy!
6. What did the calculator say to its crush?
“You can count on me!”
7. What do you call a love story set in space?
A galaxy of romance!
8. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice before pursuing love!
9. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little love in it!
10. What did one coffee say to another on Valentine’s Day?
“We brew the perfect blend!”
11. Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Valentine’s Day?
Because they make up everything, including love!
12. What do you call it when you have too much affection?
Love overdose!
13. Why did the musician get kicked out of the love concert?
He couldn’t find the right note!
14. What did the fisherman say on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re the catch of my life!”
15. Why was the Valentine always in a good mood?
It knew love was in the air!
16. What’s a baker’s favorite lovey-dovey dessert?
A “sweetheart” pastry!
17. Why did the cookie break up with the cracker?
It found someone a little bit sweeter!
18. How did the ice cream propose?
With a scoop of affection!
19. Why did the bicycle fall in love?
It was two-tired of being alone!
20. How do trees show their love?
They leaf little notes for each other!
Romantic One-Liners
1. What did the banana say to the date?
“I find you a-peeling!”
2. How did the astronaut propose to his girlfriend?
He asked her to take their love to new heights!
3. What did the strawberry say to the grape?
“You’re vine, let’s stick together!”
4. Why did the ghost break up with his partner?
He couldn’t handle the emotional baggage!
5. What’s a bee’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good buzz, especially love songs!
6. How did the sugar tell her partner she loved him?
With a sweet gesture!
7. Why did the math book look sad on Valentine’s Day?
It had too many problems but still needed love!
8. What did the light bulb shout on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you more than electricity!”
9. Why did the owl give his girlfriend a gift?
Because he wanted to show her he’s owlsome!
10. What did the cupcake say to the frosting?
“You complete me!”
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field of love!
12. How do you know if someone loves books?
They can’t stop checking you out!
13. What’s the best way to a heart’s affection?
Through delicious food – they say the way to a heart is through the stomach!
14. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing and fell in love!
15. How do cats end a romantic letter?
With “Paws and kisses!”
16. Why did the clock break up with his girlfriend?
He felt it was time to move on!
17. What did the calendar say to the lover?
“Our days together are numbered, but they’re all special!”
18. Why did the singer get kicked out of the date?
He couldn’t find his tune on love!
19. What did the kite say to the string?
“You make me feel so uplifted!”
20. Why did the spider start a relationship?
Because he found someone he could web a love story with!
Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
1. Are you a magician?
Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
2. Do you have a map?
I keep getting lost in your eyes!
3. Are you a parking ticket?
Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!
4. Is your name Google?
Because you have everything I’ve been searching for!
5. Did it hurt?
When you fell from heaven into my heart?
6. Are you a campfire?
Because you’re hot and I want s’more!
7. If you were a vegetable,
You’d be a cutecumber!
8. Are you a time traveler?
Because I see you in my future!
9. Is your dad a baker?
Because you’re a cutie pie!
10. Can I follow you home?
Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams!
11. Are you made of copper and tellurium?
Because you’re Cu-Te!
12. Excuse me, but I think you dropped something:
My jaw!
13. Are you French?
Because Eiffel for you!
14. If beauty were time,
You’d be eternity!
15. Is your name Wi-Fi?
Because I’m really feeling a connection!
16. Do you like raisins?
How do you feel about a date?
17. Are you a snowstorm?
Because you’ve just made my heart race with chills!
18. Is your love life a bank?
Because you’ve got my interest!
19. Are you an interior decorator?
Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful!
20. If you were words on a page,
You’d be the fine print!
Witty Valentine’s Puns
1. What did the heart say to its partner during dinner?
“You’re the beat of my life!”
2. How did the sweater win over its date?
It had excellent stitching for a warm embrace!
3. Why did the chef break up with the pot?
There was too much pressure in the relationship!
4. What did one candle say to the other?
“We’re going to have a light-hearted evening!”
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything, even love stories!
6. What did the ink say to the pen?
“I love the way you fill me in!”
7. Why was the computer cold on Valentine’s Day?
Because it left its Windows open for love!
8. What did the salad say to the dressing?
“I’m ready to become a true love mix!”
9. Why did the bicycle fall in love with the tricycle?
Because it found two’s company just right!
10. What’s a romantic bird’s favorite game?
Tweet poker, of course!
11. Why did the microwave get a Valentine?
Because it really knows how to heat things up!
12. What’s a balloon’s favorite kind of date?
A pop date!
13. How do oceans say “I love you”?
They wave with affection!
14. What did one shoe say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“We’re sole mates!”
15. Why did the egg fail in love?
It couldn’t tell if it was scrambled or sunny-side up!
16. How does Cupid stay fit?
He does arrow-bics for love!
17. Why did the smartphone ask the charger out?
It needed a spark in its life!
18. What did the pancake say to its syrup?
“Without you, I’m flat!”
19. Why was the computer blushing?
It couldn’t handle all the love upgrades!
20. What did the train say to its love?
“I choo-choo-choose you!”
Child-Friendly Valentine Jokes
1. What did the flower say to its friend?
“Hey bud, I’m rooting for you!”
2. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crummy but wanted to feel chipper!
3. What do you call an affectionate cat?
A purr-son who loves cuddles!
4. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was already stuffed with love!
5. What did the rainbow say to the cloud?
“I love your vibe; let’s color the world together!”
6. How does a worm show its love?
By being totally into hook, line, and sinker!
7. What did one heart say to another at the party?
“You’re the life of the love-mmunity!”
8. Why was the baby strawberry upset?
Because her parents were in a jam!
9. How did the cupcake greet his friends?
“Hey, I’m here to sweeten up your day!”
10. Why did the pair of socks break up?
Because they couldn’t find a match!
11. What did the bee say to the flower?
“Buzz me anytime you need a little pollen!”
12. How did the banana propose to his love?
He slipped a ring on her finger!
13. Why did the penguin take its partner to the ice rink?
For a chill date with a twist!
14. What did the shell say to the seahorse?
“I’m hooked on you!”
15. Why was the candy corn so popular on Valentine’s Day?
Because it always brings sweetness to the party!
16. What did the apples say during their romantic dinner?
“It’s an a-peeling night!”
17. How did the dog show affection?
By barking out love poems!
18. What did the sun say to the moon on Valentine’s Day?
“You light up my life!”
19. Why did the heart go to school?
To learn how to love better!
20. What did the grape say to its crush?
“I’m just wine-ing for your affection!”
Parody Poems for Lovers
1. What do you call a love poem that’s always in a hurry?
A sonnet on the run!
2. How did the lovebird express its feelings?
In a tweet of affection!
3. What did one romantic potato say to the other?
“I love you mash much!”
4. Why are poets great at romance?
Because they know how to write from the heart!
5. What did the romantic snowman say?
“I love you snow much!”
6. Why was the love letter always in a good mood?
Because it was filled with sweet sentiments!
7. What did the candle say to its partner during a poetry night?
“We’re about to light up the verses!”
8. How do you tell a love story with rhythm?
Through poetic lines and stanzas full of heart!
9. What did the lonely tree write in its poem?
“I pine for your touch!”
10. Why did the love poem always win competitions?
Because it had the best rhyme and reason!
11. What do you call a lyric that makes you feel butterflies?
A heart flutter verse!
12. How did the moon express its love for the stars?
With verses that shine bright in the night!
13. What did the cupcake write on its love note?
“You make my heart rise!”
14. Why did the poet fall in love?
For the sake of a great narrative!
15. What did the vine say to its flowering partner?
“I cling to you with all my heart!”
16. How did the pair of shoes express their bond?
“We’re laced together in love!”
17. What did the butterfly write in its love poem?
“I’m fluttering for you!”
18. Why did the kitten love poetry?
Because it always pawsed to reflect on love!
19. How did the owl express affection through verse?
With wise words of love that hoot from the heart!
20. What did the romantic songbird sing about love?
“You’re the melody that makes my heart dance!”
Funny Valentine’s Day Conversations
1. What did one Valentine say to another during a chat?
“Let’s taco ’bout our love!”
2. Why did the girl bring a pencil to her conversation?
In case she needed to draw a better connection!
3. How did Cupid introduce himself on a date?
“I’m arrow-dynamic when it comes to love!”
4. What did the computer say during a Valentine’s Day chat?
“Let’s sync up our hearts!”
5. Why did the phone break up with the computer?
There was too much buffering in the relationship!
6. What did the cupcake say when it met its sweet crush?
“We frosting to meet you!”
7. How did the penguin break the ice on a date?
By sliding in with a waddle of charm!
8. What did one ocean say to the other in a romantic text?
“Water you doing this Valentine’s?”
9. What did the light bulb say on a romantic date?
“You turn me on!”
10. Why did the kite break up with the string?
It felt too tied down and wanted some space!
11. How does a rabbit flirt?
With a little hop and a lot of love!
12. What did the sandwich say to his partner during lunch?
“Let’s relish this moment!”
13. Why do bees always have sweet conversations?
Because they buzz about love all day!
14. What did the card say to its recipient?
“I was sent here to sweep you off your feet!”
15. How did the pizza express its affection?
“You’re the toppings to my heart!”
16. What did the battery say during a romantic text?
“I’m charged up for you!”
17. Why did the heart start a conversation with the brain?
It wanted to connect on an emotional level!
18. What did one ghost say to another in a love chat?
“You’re just my boo!”
19. How did the spaghetti propose in conversation?
“I’m saucy for you!”
20. What did the train say during their romantic exchange?
“I choo-choo-choose you every time!”
Last-Minute Jokes for February 14th
1. Why did the Valentine go to school?
To improve its love letters!
2. What did one heart say to the other at the last minute?
“I can’t wait to beat the clock!”
3. Why did the couple choose to grab fast food on Valentine’s Day?
Because they wanted love at first bite!
4. What did the marshmallow say to the chocolate?
“We melt for each other!”
5. Why did the girl think her gift was late?
Because her heart was racing ahead!
6. What did the chef say on Valentine’s Day?
“Let’s make it a ‘sauce-tastic’ evening!”
7. Why was the calendar always out of time?
Because it was busy planning romantic dates!
8. What did the cupcake say to the frosting in a last-minute rush?
“Let’s sweeten this deal fast!”
9. How did Cupid get ready for Valentine’s Day?
He shot arrows ahead of time!
10. What did the star say to its partner while rushing to dinner?
“We’re out of this world!”
11. Why did the heart race to the date?
It didn’t want to miss a beat!
12. What did the envelope say to the letter?
“I’m just here to carry your love!”
13. How did the flowers get ready quickly?
They sprang into bloom at the last minute!
14. What did one chocolate say to the other in a hurry?
“We’ve got to get our sweet selves out there!”
15. Why did the lovebirds meet up unexpectedly?
Because their feelings couldn’t wait another minute!
16. What did the balloon say when it saw last-minute decorations?
“I’m just here to lift the mood!”
17. How did the dog wish his owner a happy Valentine’s Day?
With a last-minute wag of affection!
18. What did the romantic potato say in a hurry?
“I’m just trying to find my mash made in heaven!”
19. Why did the movie decide to go out on Valentine’s Day?
It had to make a last-minute screening!
20. What did the music note say on February 14th?
“Let’s make beautiful harmony together, fast!”