Friday the 13th has always been a day filled with superstition and lore, and I still remember the first time I realized that my fear of this day was a little silly. I was at a spooky-themed party, and the host asked us to share a joke related to the day. I nervously searched my mind and ended up delivering a punchline that not only got the biggest laugh but also shifted my perspective about the day entirely. Since then, I’ve embraced the humor that comes with this infamous date. Here are some great jokes that will help you lighten up what is typically considered a frightful day!
1. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with him!
2. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch!
3. Why don’t ghosts like rain?
It dampens their spirits!
4. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A necktarine!
5. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
He got tired of steaks!
6. What did the ghost say to the barista?
“Boo-tiful latte!”
7. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
8. Why did the zombie cross the road?
To eat the guy on the other side!
9. What do you call a monster that poisons your coffee?
A de-caf-er!
10. Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend?
He couldn’t get over his ex!
11. What do you call a paranormal plumber?
The ghost flush!
12. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
13. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite!
14. How does a ghost keep fit?
By exorcising regularly!
15. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
16. What do you call a witch who is good at math?
A mathmagician!
17. Why do vampires always seem sick?
They’re always coffin!
18. How can you tell if a vampire has a cold?
He starts coffin more than usual!
19. Why did the black cat sit on the computer?
He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
20. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite type of music?
Hay-ppop!
Classic Jokes to Get You Started
1. Why didn’t the skeleton fight the zombie?
He didn’t have the guts!
2. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A hoblin!
3. Why did the vampire go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood!
4. How do you know if a monster is in your room?
You’ll feel it in your bones!
5. Why do vampires love baseball?
Because they’re always swinging for the fences!
6. What do you call a witch who likes to ride her broom?
A swept-off-her-feet witch!
7. Why did the ghost get a job?
He wanted to lift his spirits!
8. What do you call a werewolf on the job?
A howling success!
9. Why are graveyards so popular?
Because people are just dying to get in!
10. Why don’t mummies take naps?
They fear they’ll get wrapped up in them!
11. What did the scarecrow say to the corn?
“Thanks for all the stalks!”
12. Why did the witch get kicked out of school?
For flying off the handle!
13. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funny bone!
14. Why did the witch break up with her broom?
It swept her off her feet but then let her down!
15. What’s a vampire’s favorite dance?
The fang-dango!
16. How do ghosts like their eggs?
Boo-iled!
17.Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones?
They don’t have the neck for it!
18. What do you call a monster who tells jokes?
A pun-derful creature!
19. Why did the ghost attend school?
He’s always trying to improve his “boo”-cation!
20. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-scream!
Punny One-Liners for the Brave
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash!
3. Why did the ghost go to the party?
He heard it was going to be a real scream!
4. What happens when a vampire gets a cold?
He gets coffin!
5. Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
6. What do you call a dog that’s great at horror movies?
A labra-scream!
7. Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
8. What did one ghost say to the other?
“Do you believe in humans?”
9. Why do witches use brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy to fly!
10. What did the pumpkin say at the party?
“Let’s get this party gourd!”
11. How does a witch like her coffee?
Spell-binding!
12. Why did the ghost go to school?
To improve his “boo”-cabulary!
13. Why don’t skeletons ever play music in the graveyard?
Because they don’t have any organs!
14. What do you call a ghost that tells jokes?
A pun-derful spirit!
15. Why did the mummy break up with his girlfriend?
He just couldn’t find the time to unwind!
16. What do skeletons order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs!
17. Why did the bat break up with his girlfriend?
She found him too clingy!
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
Hide and Shriek!
19. Why was the graveyard so popular?
Because people are just dying to get in!
20. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride?
“Are you my type?”
Family-Friendly Jokes for All Ages
1. Why did the skeleton go to school?
To improve his “spook-tacular” grades!
2. What do you call a vampire who is also a teacher?
A blood educator!
3. Why was the broom late for Halloween?
It swept the wrong way!
4. How do you organize a fantastic space party?
You planet!
5. Why did the ghost go to the gym?
To exercise his boo-tiful muscles!
6. What do you call a ghost with a sense of humor?
A jabber-ghost!
7. Why did the mummy get a ticket?
He was caught in a “wrap” zone!
8. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
You tickle its funny bone!
9. What did the scarecrow win a medal for?
His outstanding “crops-formance”!
10. Why do vampires always read?
They love a good “tale” with a bite!
11. What did the little ghost say to his friend?
“Let’s get together and have a boo-rific time!”
12. Why don’t mummies get lost?
They always follow the “wrap” road!
13. What do you call a dancing ghost?
The boogieman!
14. Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because it’s faster than walking in “witch” heels!
15. Why did the haunted house get a job?
It wanted to earn some “spook-gas” money!
16. How does a vampire act when he’s mad?
He gets a little batty!
17. Why did the ghost stop drinking coffee?
It kept him up all night “boo”-ring!
18. What do you call a friendly ghost?
A “friend-der”!
19. Why was the vampire so bad at baseball?
He could never get a good hit!
20. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-ty jeans!
Scary Puns That Will Make You Laugh
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
2. Why did the ghost get a job at the bakery?
He wanted to make some “boo”-tiful loaves!
3. What do you call a monster who loves to dance?
The boogie-man!
4. Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend?
She wasn’t his type anymore!
5. What did the cryptkeeper say when he ran out of jokes?
“Looks like I’m out of ‘grave’ humor!”
6. Why was the ghost so bad at lying?
Because you could see right through him!
7. What do you call a witch’s garage band?
The Spooky Jams!
8. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They can’t unwind like the rest of us!
9. How do you tell if a vampire is sick?
He’s always coffin!
10. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie!
11. Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. What do you give a vampire with a cold?
A little bat-tle of cough syrup!
13. Why don’t ghosts make good secret agents?
Because they can’t keep it “boo”-t!
14. What’s a ghoul’s favorite music?
Anything with a killer beat!
15. Why did the witch go to school?
To improve her “spell”-ing!
16. How do you catch a ghost?
With a boo-net!
17. Why do ghosts love parties?
Because they’re always a scream!
18. What do you call a little ghost?
A “boo”-nito!
19. Why did Dracula become a banker?
He wanted to make some “stake”-holding investments!
20. What do you call a polite ghost?
A “please”-trator!
Clever Jokes for Horror Movie Fans
1. Why did the horror movie character get kicked out of the party?
He couldn’t stop playing with his chainsaw!
2. What did the horror fan say to the killer?
“You’ve got a killer instinct!”
3. Why did the ghost go to film school?
To learn how to improve his fright techniques!
4. How do monsters stay cool in the summer?
They wear their scare-ops!
5. What do you call it when a vampire takes a break?
A coffin stop!
6. Why do horror movies make the best love stories?
Because they really know how to build tension!
7. What did one horror movie character say to the other at the bar?
“Let’s raise some spirits!”
8. Why was the horror director always calm?
Because he never lost his head under pressure!
9. How does a ghost like to communicate?
With “boo”-s and “haunts”!
10. Why do zombies make terrible friends?
They’re always trying to eat your brains!
11. What do you call a horror movie about gardening?
A frightfully good plot twist!
12. Why are horror movie sequels so popular?
Because they never go out with a whimper!
13. What does a vampire use when he wants to make a call?
A blood phone!
14. How do werewolves make decisions?
They just follow their instincts!
15. What did the vampire say to the comedian?
“Your jokes really bite!”
16. Why did the horror movie character bring a ladder?
To reach new heights in scares!
17. What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of movie?
Anything that will give them a scare-prise!
18. Why did the chainsaw artist start a film career?
He wanted to cut it in Hollywood!
19. What do you call a friendly horror movie?
A spook-tacular comedy!
20. Why did the haunted house hire a lawyer?
They needed someone to handle their ghoulish claims!
Fun Riddles to Share with Friends
1. What has fangs and always waits for the right time?
A stake-out!
2. Why don’t zombies ever get lost?
They always follow the path of least resistance!
3. What do you call a witch’s favorite subject?
Spelling!
4. How do ghosts like their steak?
With a little boo-tter!
5. What do you call a monster who can play the piano?
A boo-gie-woogie man!
6. Why did the spider get a job at the haunted house?
To help keep things in web-order!
7. What do you call it when a vampire takes a break?
A blood nap!
8. Why was the zombie so good at math?
Because he always added up the brains!
9. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music!
10. Why did the ghost go out with the vampire?
He found her fang-tastic!
11. What do ghosts do when they get bored?
They just boo-st their moods!
12. Why was the pumpkin so happy?
Because it had a gourd time at the party!
13. How do haunted houses make decisions?
They rely on their gut feeling!
14. What did the werewolf say to the hairstylist?
“I want to look fur-tabulous!”
15. Why did the little ghost join the choir?
He wanted to improve his boo-ss!
16. What does a monster do with a broken smartphone?
He has a fright fix!
17. Why do ghosts always know how to party?
Because they can really raise spirits!
18. What did the vampire order at the café?
A bloody Mary!
19. Why did the scarecrow win a talent show?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
20. What’s a mummy’s favorite game?
Wrap-around!
Light-Hearted Jokes to Combat Superstitions
1. Why did the black cat sit on the computer?
He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
2. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-scream!
3. How do ghosts like their coffee?
With a little boo-tter!
4. Why did the witch go to school?
To improve her “spell”-ing!
5. Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones?
They don’t have the neck for it!
6. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a fanged tooth?
A tooth fairy after dark!
7. What do you call a monster who tells jokes?
A pun-derful beast!
8. Why was the ghost such a good comedian?
Because he always had a haunting punchline!
9. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
“Can you feel the spine-tingling chemistry?”
10. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll unwind!
11. What do ghosts wear when it rains?
Their boo-ties!
12. Why did the vampire fail his driver’s test?
He kept getting distracted by the “fang” traffic!
13. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite type of music?
Anything that’s “hay”-mazing!
14. Why did the ghost break up?
He just couldn’t find the time to “boo”-nd!
15. How do you catch a cute ghost?
With a boo-net!
16. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of exercise?
Spookercise!
17. What did the monster get on his math test?
A B-oo!
18. Why do witches always fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy to fly!
19. How do you scare a ghost?
By making it face its fears!
20. What do you call a friendly ghost?
A “boo”-dy buddy!
Jokes About Jason and His Friends
1. Why did Jason bring a towel to the party?
He heard it was a killer pool party!
2. What do you call Jason when he’s not in a good mood?
A “fright” in the making!
3. Why did Jason refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of getting dealt a bad hand!
4. What’s Jason’s favorite type of music?
Anything that has a killer beat!
5. How does Jason start his day?
With a killer cup of coffee!
6. Why did Jason cross the road?
To get to the other side… of the campfire!
7. What do you call Jason when he’s on vacation?
A slice of life!
8. Why did Jason love the campfire?
Because it was a “lit” gathering!
9. What happened when Jason tried to start a bakery?
He couldn’t find a way to “knead” the dough without scaring away the customers!
10. Why did Jason take up gardening?
He wanted to grow his own “blooms”!
11. What did Jason say when he got a compliment?
“Thanks, I enjoy a good ‘slash’ of praise!”
12. Why was Jason always calm at work?
He had a good “chopping” block for stress!
13. How does Jason like his steak?
Rare, just like his targets!
14. What did Jason say at the comedy club?
“Let’s cut to the chase!”
15. Why was Jason never late?
Because he always wanted to avoid a “slasher” scene!
16. What’s Jason’s favorite board game?
“Chop and Ladder!”
17. Why did Jason start a podcast?
To discuss his “killer” ideas!
18. What do you get when you mix Jason with a gardener?
A green-thumbed slasher!
19. How did Jason celebrate his birthday?
With a “slice” of cake and a killer time!
20. Why did Jason excel in cooking class?
He had a knack for “taking a cut” at everything!
Funny Quotes to Brighten Your Day
1. “I once knew a guy who was afraid of Friday the 13th… he ended up dying, but only from embarrassment!”
2. “They say Friday the 13th is unlucky. I call it a perfectly good excuse to stay in and watch horror movies!”
3. “On Friday the 13th, my only superstitions are that I need to have a bowl of popcorn and keep the lights dim!”
4. “I told my therapist I have a fear of Friday the 13th. He said, ‘That’s just silly; you should laugh at it!’ I said, ‘Not this Friday!’”
5. “Why did the ghost bring a suitcase on Friday the 13th? He was preparing for a ‘boo’-cation!”
6. “I heard Friday the 13th is a bad day for dealing with the undead. I guess the zombies are just too ‘braaaain’ focused!”
7. “On Friday the 13th, it’s best to remember—don’t let your worries go ‘to the grave.’”
8. “I love Friday the 13th! It gives me a good excuse to scare my friends. Just call me the ‘fright’ master!”
9. “They say you should avoid black cats on Friday the 13th. I prefer to see them as furry little ‘mood-boosters’!”
10. “What do you do when it’s Friday the 13th? Call your friends over for a scream-fest!”
11. “I decided to get married on Friday the 13th. That way, if it goes wrong, I will have an excellent excuse!”
12. “When life gives you Friday the 13th, make a horror movie marathon! Just remember to keep your snacks close!”
13. “Why did the scarecrow sign up for a magic show on Friday the 13th? Because he wanted to pull a few ‘haunting’ tricks!”
14. “Friday the 13th: the day when even the ghosts can’t resist a good laugh!”
15. “Whenever I’m scared on Friday the 13th, I just tell myself: It’s all about perspective. I’m still alive—and that’s ‘boo-tiful’!”
16. “I told my friend that I’m afraid of Friday the 13th. He said, ‘That’s nothing! I’m afraid of my bank statements!’”
17. “What’s Jason’s favorite dessert on Friday the 13th? ‘Slice’ of cake, of course!”
18. “I have a special charm for Friday the 13th—laughter! It keeps the frights away!”
19. “On Friday the 13th, just remember: the real horror is found in socks that don’t match!”
20. “Why do ghosts love Fridays the 13th? Because they can finally step out of their shells and scare away the gloom!”