When I was a kid, my dad had this old toolbox filled with all sorts of tools, including a well-worn screwdriver that seemed to have a life of its own. Every time he reached for it, there was a joke to be told or a funny story to share, making our DIY projects more about laughter than labor. It was the beginning of my love for humor, especially when it involved tools. Here are some screwdriver jokes that capture the spirit of those delightful days.
1. Why did the screwdriver break up with the hammer?
A screw and a nail just don’t mix!
2. What did the screwdriver say at the comedian’s show?
This is really riveting!
3. How does a screwdriver remember something?
It screws it into its mind!
4. Why are screwdrivers such good friends?
They always drive each other home!
5. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite exercise?
Twists and turns!
6. Why did the screw get kicked out of school?
It couldn’t figure out how to fit in!
7. What did the flat-head screwdriver say to the Phillips head?
We’re just not on the same page!
8. Why did the screwdriver go to therapy?
It had too many twists in its life!
9. How do screwdrivers prefer their jokes?
With a twist!
10. Why did the carpenter bring a screwdriver to the party?
He heard it was a screw-tacular event!
11. What do you get when a screwdriver and a wrench team up?
A tool duo that can’t be unhinged!
12. Why did the screwdriver start a band?
It wanted to play some real heavy metal!
13. How does a screwdriver stay organized?
With a lot of twisty ties!
14. What did the father screwdriver say to his son?
You’re driving me crazy!
15. Why don’t screwdrivers tell secrets?
They can’t be kept between the threads!
16. How does a screwdriver greet a nail?
Hey, let’s get together and connect!
17. Why was the screwdriver always calm?
It knew how to keep it together!
18. What type of music do screwdrivers love?
Anything with a good groove!
19. Why do screwdrivers dislike bad movies?
They can’t stand a twist that makes no sense!
20. What did one screwdriver say to the other during a race?
Let’s drive it home!
Understanding Screwdriver Jokes
1. What did the screwdriver say to the curious screw?
Don’t worry, I’m just here to help you out!
2. Why did the screwdriver go broke?
Because it couldn’t keep its bits together!
3. What do you call a screwdriver that tells jokes?
A pun driver!
4. How did the screwdriver become a successful comedian?
It always knew how to get a twist on a punchline!
5. Why did the screw always admire the screwdriver?
It was really handy in tight spots!
6. Why don’t screwdrivers like surprises?
They prefer to have things nailed down!
7. What did the screwdriver say during the debate?
Let’s twist some facts here!
8. Why was the screwdriver invited to join the orchestra?
It could really hit the high notes—especially with a good twist!
9. How does a screwdriver flirt?
It says, “You’re really turning me on!”
10. What happens when two screwdrivers get into a fight?
They just drive each other nuts!
11. Why was the screwdriver invited to every party?
Because it always brings the right energy to screw things up!
12. What did the screwdriver say after telling a good joke?
That one really nailed it!
13. Why did the screw feel lonely?
It had no driver to accompany it!
14. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite game?
Twist and shout!
15. How do screwdrivers handle their relationships?
They always stay engaged!
16. What does a screwdriver do when it’s hungry?
It bolts to the kitchen!
17. Why do screwdrivers make great musicians?
They know how to keep rhythm and flow!
18. What did the old screwdriver say to the new one?
Welcome to the twisty turn of events!
19. Why did the screw refuse to go to the party?
It didn’t want to get all turned around!
20. Why was the screwdriver a hit with the kids?
Because it was always entertaining with its twists and turns!
Classic Screwdriver One-Liners
1. Why did the screwdriver go to art school?
It wanted to learn how to draw a proper line!
2. What did the screw say to the screwdriver at the bar?
Let’s screw around and have some fun!
3. Why are screwdrivers such great storytellers?
They really know how to twist a tale!
4. What do you call a screwdriver that does stand-up comedy?
A real twist of humor!
5. Why did the screwdriver act in a play?
It wanted to turn the tables on the audience!
6. How does a screwdriver like its coffee?
With a little twist of sugar!
7. Why did the screwdriver bring a ladder to work?
To reach new heights in fastening!
8. What did the screwdriver say when it won an award?
I’m totally driven by this recognition!
9. Why did the screwdriver start a blog?
To share its riveting stories with the world!
10. How does a screwdriver celebrate New Year’s?
With a twist and a spin!
11. What do you call a screwdriver that can dance?
A twist and shout sensation!
12. Why was the screwdriver always invited to breakfast?
Because it knew how to crack a few eggs!
13. What happens when screwdrivers go on vacation?
They drive to new locations!
14. Why did the screwdriver write a book?
It had too many twisted adventures to share!
15. How do you make a screwdriver smile?
Just tell it a humorous twist!
16. What did the screw say to the screwdriver during a race?
Let’s turn this competition into a drive!
17. Why did the screwdriver fail at yoga?
It couldn’t find its balance!
18. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite holiday?
Twistmas!
19. How did the screwdriver become an influencer?
It really knew how to drive trends!
20. Why do screwdrivers make great friends?
They always stick together through thick and thin!
Puns That Twist the Handle
1. What did the screwdriver say to the painter?
Let’s get straight to the point!
2. Why did the screwdriver date the pliers?
They were a perfect match in grips!
3. How do screwdrivers stay fit?
They love to twist and turn in their workouts!
4. Why are screwdrivers the life of the toolbox?
Because they always bring the right tools for fun!
5. What did the screwdriver tell the confused bolt?
Don’t worry, I can help you find your place!
6. Why did the straight screwdriver go to therapy?
Because it had too many straightened out issues!
7. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite dessert?
Twist and shout cake!
8. Why did the screw always carry a screwdriver?
It wanted to be ready for any twist in the road!
9. How do screwdrivers keep track of their plans?
With a twisty calendar!
10. Why don’t screwdrivers play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re so straightforward!
11. What do screwdrivers use to communicate?
Twist-mail!
12. Why did the screwdriver become a detective?
It knew how to get to the bottom of every twisty case!
13. What happens when a screwdriver goes to space?
It really starts to explore new dimensions!
14. Why was the screwdriver a terrible comedian?
It always took things literally with too many twists!
15. What did the screwdriver say at the talent show?
I may not be sharp, but I can sure twist it up!
16. Why did the screwdriver go to culinary school?
To learn how to mix things up!
17. Why did the screwdriver join the school band?
Because it wanted to play a leading role in the twisty tunes!
18. What did the screw say when the screwdriver told a joke?
That’s a real turning point in humor!
19. Why was the screwdriver so optimistic?
Because it always saw the positive twists in life!
20. How do screwdrivers like to socialize?
They love to twist and mingle at parties!
Funny Screwdriver Anecdotes
1. One day, I watched a friend try to fix a loose cabinet door. With each twist of the screwdriver, he’d mutter amusing commentary. At one point, he exclaimed, “This screwdriver and I have a special bond; it just keeps screwing things up with me!”
2. My dad once tried to assemble a shelf with a screwdriver and ended up with a modern art piece that resembled a sculpture. He proudly declared, “Every screw has its story, it’s just a twisted tale!”
3. I remembered a family BBQ where my uncle used a screwdriver to open a bottle of soda. He grinned and said, “Who knew this tool had more uses than just driving screws? It’s a real pop star!”
4. One time, my cousin was trying to fix his bike with a screwdriver. He got frustrated and yelled, “Why is this thing always driving me crazy? Screw this!”
5. I once told my sibling that a screwdriver doesn’t judge; it just drives. She responded, “Well, I hope it drives me home after this DIY disaster!”
6. A friend of mine tried to hang a picture frame but was all out of nails. He confidently exclaimed, “No worries, I have a screwdriver! Who needs nails when you have creativity?”
7. During a home renovation, I overheard someone saying, “If I had a dollar for every time this screwdriver saved me, I’d have just enough to buy a power drill!”
8. At a garage sale, I jokingly said, “You can buy a screw or a screwdriver here. But remember, you’ll never get a twist on a deal like this!”
9. One night over curry, a friend recounted, “I told my screwdriver a joke. It got the twist but couldn’t quite drive the punchline home!”
10. At a parent-teacher meeting, one dad joked, “If my kid keeps getting into trouble, I’m going to send the principal a screwdriver as a bribe. It’ll be screws of encouragement!”
11. Once, while fixing a drawer, I joked, “This screwdriver must be a magician because it just pulled a disappearing act on my screws!”
12. Remembering a camping trip, I shared, “My friend brought a multi-tool for food prep, while I brought a screwdriver. Let’s just say I ended up making ‘screw-drivlets’ instead of omelets!”
13. I listened to a colleague say, “You ever notice how a screwdriver gets you out of tight spots? Sometimes I wish I had a screwdriver for my life’s problems!”
14. A neighbor proclaimed after finishing a project, “I really don’t need therapy anymore. This screwdriver has become my supportive friend through thick and thin!”
15. A dad joked while nailing something, “If tools had personalities, I’d like my screwdriver. It’s persistent but knows when to take a breather!”
16. I was at a DIY class where someone quipped, “My screwdriver reminds me of my sense of humor. Lots of twists and turns, but always trying to drive home a point!”
17. Watching a friend wrestle with a stubborn screw, I chuckled, “If only this screwdriver could talk; it’d say, ‘I’m just trying to help you screw up less!’”
18. During a family game night, someone remarked, “I wish my life decisions were like this screwdriver: straightforward with less drama!”
19. At a reunion, a cousin said, “The best tool for fighting family disputes? A screwdriver! It helps put everything back together again, no matter how twisted!”
20. Lastly, while fixing a messy toolbox, I joked, “If only we could get a screwdriver for our relationships, we’d really be driving home the joy!”
Knock-Knock Screwdriver Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Screw.
Screw who?
Screw me, I forgot the punchline!
2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Phillips.
Phillips who?
Phillips the car, I can’t find my way home!
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna screwdriver would really help right now!
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gus.
Gus who?
Gus what? I need a screwdriver for this!
5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda what a great screwdriver this is!
6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rex.
Rex who?
Rex-amine your tools, you might need a screwdriver!
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al-ways keep a screwdriver handy for emergencies!
8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Morty.
Morty who?
Morty you have to screw it in tighter!
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stan.
Stan who?
Stan back, I’m about to drive home this joke!
10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea careful with that screwdriver, it’s sharp!
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a nice screwdriver joke?
12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sue.
Sue who?
Sue me, but this screwdriver is amazing!
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Clydesdale.
Clydesdale who?
Clydesdale you please hand me that screwdriver?
14. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mike.
Mike who?
Mike your way over here with that screwdriver!
15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sally.
Sally who?
Sally-brate the power of the screwdriver!
16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have enough screwdrivers for this job?
17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ellie.
Ellie who?
Ellie-gantly, I’m just here for the screw driver jokes!
18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rocco.
Rocco who?
Rocco me a new screwdriver, will ya?
19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don’t worry, this screwdriver can fix it!
20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Timber.
Timber who?
Timber your tools, I’ve got a screwdriver!
Screwdriver Jokes for Kids
1. Why did the kid bring a screwdriver to school?
Because it heard it was a tool for learning!
2. What did the screwdriver say to the frightened screw?
Don’t worry, I got your back!
3. Why don’t screws ever get invited to parties?
Because they can’t stop getting twisted!
4. What kind of jokes do kids like about screwdrivers?
Ones that really drive them home!
5. Why was the screwdriver always so happy?
Because it found its perfect screw match!
6. How did the screwdriver cheer up its friend?
By saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll screw it up together!”
7. What do you call a screwdriver that plays hide and seek?
A twisty sneaky driver!
8. What did the mom screwdriver say to her child?
“Remember, keep it tight, and don’t let loose screws in!”
9. Why was the screwdriver so good at puzzles?
It knew how to connect all the pieces!
10. How did the screw break the ice at the party?
By saying, “This is a real twisty situation!”
11. What did the screwdriver say when it finished its homework?
“I really nailed those problems!”
12. Why did the kid take a screwdriver on the bus?
To drive home some fun!
13. What did the playful screw say to the screwdriver?
“You really drive me wild!”
14. Why did the screwdriver get a flat tire?
It forgot to keep its wheels on!
15. What did the kid ask the screwdriver at show-and-tell?
“Can you twist while you tell a joke?”
16. Why did the screws love the screwdriver so much?
Because it always made them feel secure!
17. How did the clever screwdriver solve a math problem?
By turning it into a twisty equation!
18. Why did the playful screw make a great comedian?
Because it could always drive the punchline home!
19. What did the screwdriver do at the music concert?
It twisted and turned to the beat!
20. Why was the kid never afraid of bedtime?
Because he had his trusty screwdriver to keep the screws tight!
Adult Humor: Screwdriver Edition
1. Why did the screwdriver go to the bar?
Because it heard they were mixing up some strong drinks!
2. What do you call a lucky screwdriver?
A twist of fate!
3. Why did the screwdriver get kicked out of the party?
It was too good at driving everyone crazy!
4. What did the screwdriver say after a long day?
“I’m ready to screw off!”
5. Why did the screwdriver get in trouble with the law?
It was caught loosening up too many screws!
6. How do screwdrivers flirt at the bar?
They offer to “drive” you home!
7. What happens when a screwdriver breaks up with a wrench?
It says, “I guess it’s time to screw off!”
8. Why did the screwdriver change careers?
It wanted to screw its way to the top!
9. What did the screwdriver say in a job interview?
“I’m ready to drive the team home!”
10. Why do screwdrivers make terrible secret agents?
They can’t keep their screws tight!
11. How did the screwdriver win the game of poker?
It knew how to handle all the twists!
12. Why do screwdrivers never get lost?
They always follow the right twists and turns!
13. What did the bartender say to the screwdriver?
“You’ve got the right spirit; let’s twist it up!”
14. Why did the screwdriver love risqué jokes?
Because they always had a good twist!
15. What did the screwdriver say to the nail on date night?
“You complete me!”
16. Why was the screwdriver such an inspiring leader?
It always knew how to drive the point home!
17. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite adult beverage?
A screw driver cocktail, of course!
18. Why did the screwdriver refuse to go home alone?
It didn’t want to be a lone screw!
19. What did the spunky screwdriver say at the party?
“Let’s twist and shout!”
20. Why do screwdrivers live life so boldly?
Because they love to take risks, one twist at a time!
Screwdriver Jokes About DIY Fails
1. Why did the DIY enthusiast get a ladder?
Because they wanted to reach new heights in their projects!
2. What did one screw say to the other after a failed project?
“We just can’t seem to get it together!”
3. Why did the electric screwdriver break up with the manual one?
It couldn’t handle the pressure anymore!
4. What do you call a screw that can’t find its way home?
A lost cause!
5. Why did the handyman fail his driving test?
He couldn’t parallel park without a screw!
6. How did the screwdriver end up at the wrong site?
It couldn’t read the directions properly!
7. Why did the wooden shelf call for help?
It just couldn’t bear the weight of all its problems!
8. What did the screwdriver say after a tough job?
“I’m all twisted up inside!”
9. Why did the hammer want to become a better tool?
It wanted to nail its DIY goals!
10. What happens when a screw gets tired?
It takes a break to unwind!
11. Why did the construction worker bring a pencil to a DIY project?
To draw the line on how far they’ll go!
12. What do you call a screw that doesn’t take responsibility?
A screw-up!
13. How does a screwdriver handle failure?
It just screws up and tries again!
14. What did the wrench say to the confused screwdriver?
“You might need to loosen up a bit!”
15. Why did the toolbox start a band?
Because it wanted to make some sweet assembly music!
16. How does a screwdriver find its way through a tough project?
By navigating through all the twists and turns!
17. What advice did the experienced screwdriver give to the newbie?
“Just drive home the point with confidence!”
18. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite way to relax?
Taking a break from all the twists and just winding down!
19. Why did the home improvement store have to close early?
They ran out of screws to hold it together!
20. What did the DIY’er learn after their big project failed?
Sometimes it’s better to fasten than to force!
Jokes from the Toolbox
1. What did the toolbox say to the screwdriver?
Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!
2. Why did the screwdriver get kicked out of the toolbox?
It was driving everyone crazy!
3. What do you call a screwdriver that tells secrets?
A twisty tell!
4. Why was the toolbox so organized?
Because it had all its screws in a row!
5. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite type of movie?
One with a lot of twists!
6. How does a screwdriver stay in shape?
It loves to twist and turn in workouts!
7. Why was the screwdriver so popular?
It always knew how to nail the right punchline!
8. What did the pliers say to the screwdriver during a group project?
Let’s join forces and screw this up together!
9. Why did the screwdriver go to art class?
To learn how to draw a straight line!
10. What happened when the screwdriver met the saw?
They cut up and had a good time!
11. Why do screwdrivers make great teachers?
They know how to provide the right angles!
12. What did the wrench say to the confused screwdriver?
It’s time to tighten up your game!
13. Why did the toolbox apply for a job?
It wanted to show off its great skills!
14. What did one screwdriver say to the other at the party?
Let’s twist and shout!
15. Why did the screwdriver sit next to the hammer?
It wanted to drive home a point!
16. How did the screwdriver feel after a long day of work?
Twisted and tired!
17. Why was the screwdriver so good at sports?
It always knew how to drive home the winning point!
18. What did the screwdriver say when it won an award?
I’m utterly driven by this honor!
19. Why did the screwdriver join a gym?
To work on its twisting and lifting!
20. What do you call a toolbox that plays music?
A jam box!
Crafting Your Own Screwdriver Humor
1. Ever tried crafting your own screwdriver jokes? It’s a twisty endeavor, but can really drive the laughs home! The trick is knowing which pun to use at the right moment.
2. What did the screwdriver say to the DIYer?
Stop whining and get to twisting!
3. How do screwdrivers communicate?
With twisted messages!
4. Why did the screwdriver go to the comedy club?
It wanted to polish its delivery!
5. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite exercise?
Screwing around at the gym!
6. How do screwdrivers avoid drama?
They screw up less by keeping it straight!
7. What did the screw say to the screwdriver during a brainstorming session?
Let’s screw it up and see what happens!
8. Why did the screwdriver always lead the group?
It enjoyed driving others towards success!
9. What did the screwdriver sing in the talent show?
I’ve got the screws to make it sing!
10. Why was the screwdriver a standout at parties?
Because it always brought the twists and turns of fun!
11. What’s a screwdriver’s favorite game?
Twister, of course!
12. Why did the screwdriver become a motivational speaker?
To teach others how to drive their points home!
13. What did the screwdriver say when complimented?
It’s all about the right angle!
14. How do screwdrivers handle bad jokes?
They just screw it off with a twist!
15. Why did the screwdriver refuse to work without a screw?
Because it didn’t want to feel all twisty without purpose!
16. How does a screwdriver enhance relationships?
By tightening the flexibility of connections!
17. What kind of parties do screwdrivers throw?
Twisted theme parties where even the puns drive you crazy!
18. Why did the creative screwdriver get a job in advertising?
It knew how to nail the message quicker!
19. What do you call a philosophical screwdriver?
A tool questioning its own existence!
20. How does a screwdriver up its game?
By always aiming for a tighter connection!