When I first discovered avocado humor, I couldn’t stop laughing. I remember sitting at a brunch with friends, trying to choke down an overripe avocado toast, when someone cracked a joke about avocados being the reason guacamole is always the life of the party. Since then, avocados and laughter have been my two favorite things to share. Here are some classic quips that highlight the delightful history of avocado humor.
1. What did the avocado say to the guacamole?
Let’s mash it up!
2. Why did the avocado break up with its partner?
It found them too a-peeling!
3. How do you invite an avocado to a party?
You say, “It’s time to get smashed!”
4. What’s an avocado’s favorite game?
Guac-a-mole!
5. Why was the avocado sad?
It felt a little green without its friends.
6. What did one avocado say to another during a tough time?
You’re going to get through this, just keep your pit together!
7. How do avocados stay in shape?
They do a lot of guac-arobics!
8. What do you get when you cross an avocado and a comedian?
A pun-derful time!
9. Why was the avocado always invited to dinner?
Because it was so well-rounded!
10. How do avocados communicate?
They use avocado-mail!
11. Why did the avocado start a band?
It had the perfect rhythm for guac ‘n’ roll!
12. What did the chef say to the avocado at the party?
Let’s have a smashing good time!
13. Why don’t avocados ever play hide and seek?
Because they always get found in the dip!
14. What did the avocado say to the toast?
You make me feel all buttered up!
15. Why did the avocado visit the therapist?
It had too many emotional pits to deal with!
16. How do you make an avocado laugh?
Just tell it a good ol’ pun!
17. Why did the avocado refuse to go out?
It didn’t want to get guac-ted!
18. What do you call a fashionable avocado?
A-va-couture!
19. Why did the avocado sit on the bus?
Because it wanted to be part of the guac-commute!
20. How did the avocado feel after a workout?
A little smashed but totally ripe!
Classic Avocado Jokes
1. Why did the avocado go to school?
It wanted to get a little greener!
2. What do you call an avocado that likes to play tricks?
A schemavocado!
3. Why did the avocado feel so popular?
Because it was always making great connections!
4. How did the avocado win the race?
It knew how to guac and roll!
5. What’s an avocado’s favorite type of music?
Guac and roll, of course!
6. Why did the chef call the avocado a secret agent?
Because it was always undercover as a dip!
7. What did the avocado say to the toast at breakfast?
We’re better together, getting spreadable vibes!
8. Why did the avocado get a promotion?
It always took the initiative to mash things up!
9. What’s an avocado’s favorite exercise?
The guac squat!
10. How does an avocado stay cool in the summer?
It hangs out in the shade of the tree!
11. Why did the avocado start a podcast?
To share its best “a-peel” experiences!
12. What did the avocado say to the tomato?
You’ve got some great flavor, let’s mix it up!
13. How do avocados celebrate a victory?
They throw a guac party!
14. Why do avocados make terrible secrets keepers?
Because they always spill the beans… or the guac!
15. What did the avocado say to its friend at the gym?
Let’s do it together, we’ll be smashed in no time!
16. Why did the avocado get locked out of its house?
It couldn’t find the right key-berry!
17. What’s the avocado’s favorite film genre?
Anything with a great “pit”-ch!
18. Why do avocados always carry an umbrella?
In case it gets a little too guac-ward!
19. How did the avocado ask for a raise?
It said, “I’m ready to take it to the next guac level!”
20. Why was the avocado so good at math?
It knew how to handle its fractions like a pro!
Puns and Wordplay
1. Why did the avocado turn into a superhero?
Because it wanted to save the day, one guac at a time!
2. How did the avocado get in shape?
It always followed a guac-solid fitness routine!
3. Why was the avocado always calm?
It knew how to keep its pit in check!
4. What do you call an avocado that loves to sing?
An a-capoella!
5. Why did the avocado join the gym?
To work on its smashing physique!
6. What do you call a film about avocados?
A real smash hit!
7. Why did the avocado break into the bakery?
To steal all the dough for guac-dough cookies!
8. What is an avocado’s favorite dance?
The guac-a-latte!
9. Why was the avocado always happy?
Because it never let anything get it down—only mashed!
10. How do you compliment an avocado?
You tell it, “You really know how to guac my world!”
11. What did the avocado say during storytelling time?
“Let me take a stab at this one!”
12. Why don’t avocados tell secrets?
They can’t help but spill the guac!
13. What do you call an avocado who’s great at organization?
A-tidy-ocado!
14. Why did the avocado always carry a notepad?
In case it had some great “a-peel-icious” ideas!
15. What do you call a confused avocado?
A very mushy situation!
16. Why did the avocado start a blog?
To share its thoughts on all things guac-tastic!
17. What did the avocado say before getting roasted?
“This is going to be a real smash hit!”
18. Why did the avocado go out for coffee?
It wanted to feel a bit more “a-short-ado”!
19. How does an avocado celebrate its birthday?
With a big guac party and plenty of dips!
20. Why was the avocado invited to the meeting?
Because it was known to bring good “guactitude”!
Avocado Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avocado.
Avocado who?
Avocado you want to come out and play?
2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avo.
Avo who?
Avo good time at the party!
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Guac.
Guac who?
Guac and roll, baby!
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce celebrate with some guacamole!
5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mango.
Mango who?
Mango out for some guac tonight!
6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ava.
Ava who?
Ava great day when there’s guacamole!
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kale.
Kale who?
Kale me if you love avocados!
8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chip.
Chip who?
Chip in some guac, will ya?
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you! Now let’s celebrate with guacamole!
10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spoon.
Spoon who?
Spoon the guacamole, it’s party time!
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
She.
She who?
She loves to dip into guac!
12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peel.
Peel who?
Peel back and enjoy some avocado goodness!
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yoda.
Yoda who?
Yoda-lovers know avocados are the best!
14. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Green.
Green who?
Green with envy over that tasty guac!
15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Vocado.
Vocado who?
Vocado to the store for some fresh avocados!
16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aisle.
Aisle who?
Aisle be your avocado duet partner!
17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Berry.
Berry who?
Berry excited to have guacamole on my tacos!
18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bowl.
Bowl who?
Bowl over with excitement for guacamole!
19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chipotle.
Chipotle who?
Chipotle me in with some guac!
20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fruit.
Fruit who?
Fruit the fiesta with some delicious guacamole!
Avocado and Food Humor
1. Why did the avocado go to the gourmet restaurant?
It heard they had an a-peeling menu!
2. What do you call an avocado that loves to cook?
A guac-chef!
3. Why did the avocado turn down the sandwich?
Because it already found its perfect match in guacamole!
4. How do avocados stay fresh?
They keep their cool in the crisper drawer!
5. What’s an avocado’s favorite breakfast?
Toast with a side of “a-toast-ment!”
6. Why did the avocado blush in the salad?
It saw the tomato dressing!
7. What did the avocado say to the salsa?
“Let’s spice things up a bit!”
8. Why are avocados terrible at sharing?
Because they always want to be the main dip in the bowl!
9. What’s an avocado’s go-to dish?
A classic guacamole with a twist!
10. Why did the avocado join the cooking class?
To learn how to be a smashing success!
11. How did the avocado feel about the new recipe?
It was all about that extra-creaminess!
12. What’s an avocado’s favorite movie?
Avengers: Endgame, because it loves a good smash!
13. Why did the avocado stop eating chips?
It didn’t want to be known as a dip fiend!
14. How do you know an avocado is fashionable?
It always has the latest a-vogue trends!
15. What did the tortilla say to the guacamole?
“You complete my crunch!”
16. Why did the avocado get invited to every potluck?
Because it always brought the life to the dip!
17. What do you call an avocado who loves fine dining?
A gourmetcado!
18. Why did the avocado refuse to be a side dish?
It always wanted to be the star dip!
19. What did the chef say about the avocado salad?
“It’s a-peel-ing on so many levels!”
20. How do avocados feel about brunch?
They think it’s the best time to spread the love!
Celebrity Avocado Jokes
1. Why did the avocado break up with the tomato?
It found out it was seeing someone else—think salsa!
2. What did the avocado say to Beyoncé?
I love that you “Avo” the single ladies vibe!
3. Why did the avocado want to be friends with Dwayne Johnson?
Because it knew he was always “smashing” things!
4. What do you call an avocado that’s made it big in Hollywood?
An A-list a-vocado!
5. Why did the avocado refuse to play poker with Cardi B?
It couldn’t handle all the “guac-and-roll” she brought!
6. What did the avocado say to its celebrity crush?
You’re totally the berry best!
7. How does an avocado celebrate its birthday with celebrities?
By throwing a “guac and roll” party!
8. Why did the avocado love hanging out with Jennifer Lopez?
Because they both know how to “keep it fresh!”
9. What do you call an avocado that sings?
A “Guac” star!
10. Why did the avocado get a selfie with Taylor Swift?
It wanted to show off its “Fearless” side!
11. How do avocados support their favorite actors?
By always giving them a “pit” of encouragement!
12. What did the avocado tell the celebrity chef?
“Let’s mash things up in the kitchen!”
13. Why did the avocado attend the award show?
To see who would win the best “dippable” performance!
14. What do you get when you cross an avocado with a pop star?
A ‘guac’-tastic concert!
15. How did the avocado feel meeting its idol?
Totally “a-peel”-ed!
16. Why did the avocado feel so fine at the gala?
It had a fabulous “a-vo” glow!
17. What’s the avocado’s favorite fashion designer?
Any one that specializes in “a-vogue-couture!”
18. Why was the avocado always the star of the show?
It had the “a-pizzazz” all along!
19. What did the avocado rock at karaoke night?
“Guacamole, we’ll rock you!”
20. How do avocados get ready for a red carpet?
They always apply a little olive oil for that healthy glow!
Kids’ Avocado Jokes
1. Why did the kid eat the avocado?
Because it was the “a-peel-ing” snack of the day!
2. What did the avocado say to the kid who wanted to eat it?
“Don’t worry, I promise I’m not ‘guacward’ at all!”
3. How do you make an avocado laugh?
You tickle its “a-pit”!
4. Why did the avocado bring a book to school?
To get a little “a-knowledge”!
5. What did the teacher say to the avocado during playtime?
“Don’t be shy, just go with the ‘guac’ flow!”
6. How do you catch an avocado at a party?
With a “guacamole” net!
7. Why did the avocado sit by itself at lunch?
It didn’t want to be a part of any “sour” conversation!
8. What do you call an avocado that can’t stop talking?
Chit-chatocado!
9. How does an avocado ask for a hug?
It says, “Give me a ‘squeeze’!”
10. What did the avocado say when it got its report card?
“I’m ‘ripe’ for success!”
11. Why did the avocado go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling very “plush” that day!
12. How do you cheer up a sad avocado?
Tell it, “You’re the ‘pit’ of the party!”
13. What game do kids love to play with avocados?
Guac-a-mole!
14. Why did the avocado always win at hide-and-seek?
Because it could blend in with the best of them!
15. What did the kid say to the avocado at snack time?
“You’re the ‘guac’ star of my lunch!”
16. Why did the avocado get invited to all the school plays?
It always delivered a “smashing” performance!
17. What do you call an avocado that loves to exercise?
A fit-ocado!
18. Why was the avocado so good at math?
Because it always knew how to “add” fun!
19. What did the avocado say to the banana?
“Let’s split this party!”
20. How did the avocado help with homework?
It was great at “a-peel-ing” explanations!
Avocado Memes
1. What do you call a meme featuring an avocado?
A guac-tastic image!
2. Why did the avocado go viral?
Because it had the perfect blend of humor and “a-peel!”
3. What did the avocado say in the famous meme?
“Just smash it!”
4. Why did the avocado become an influencer?
Because it kept “spreading” good vibes!
5. What do you call an avocado that loves selfies?
A photogenic-ocado!
6. Why is the avocado always trending on social media?
It knows how to keep it fresh and fun!
7. How does an avocado keep up with memes?
By always being in the “guac” of things!
8. What’s an avocado’s favorite meme format?
“Distracted Boyfriend” – it’s always torn between guacamole and toast!
9. Why did the avocado cross the road in a meme?
To get to the guac side!
10. How do avocados respond to memes?
With a big laugh and a “mash-it” reaction!
11. Why is the avocado the star of so many memes?
Because it always knows how to “pear” well with others!
12. What do you call an avocado caught in a meme trap?
A stuck-up “guac!”
13. Why did the avocado become a meme superstar?
It had the right “a-peel” for the spotlight!
14. How does the avocado feel about being a meme?
Totally “a-peel”ing!
15. What’s the avocado’s take on the latest meme trend?
“Let’s get smashed!”
16. Why are avocado memes always hilarious?
They “guac” up everyone’s day!
17. What do you call a viral avocado meme?
A smash hit!
18. How does an avocado choose its meme?
By going with the funniest “peel”!
19. Why do avocados appreciate memes?
Because they know laughter is the best recipe!
20. What’s an avocado’s favorite meme response?
“Holy guacamole!”
Avocado One-Liners
1. Why did the avocado start writing jokes?
Because it wanted to be a real pun-derful comedian!
2. What did the avocado say to the taco at the party?
“Let’s stick together for some good times!”
3. Why are avocados so great at basketball?
Because they always shoot for the guac-hoops!
4. How do avocados get their news?
Through the daily grapevine!
5. What did the avocado wear to the dance?
Its best “a-vogue” outfit!
6. Why were the avocados so successful in business?
Because they knew how to network and make great connections!
7. What did the avocado say after a long day?
“I’m feeling a bit mashed but ready to roll!”
8. How does an avocado express its feelings?
It says, “I’m feeling extra a-peel-ed today!”
9. Why don’t avocados ever get lost?
They have excellent guac-ception!
10. What do you call an avocado who loves to sing karaoke?
A “guac”-star performer!
11. Why did the avocado bring a ladder to the bar?
It heard the drinks were on the house!
12. What did the avocado say when things got tough?
“I’ll just mash my way through!”
13. Why do avocados always win at trivia night?
Because they have all the guac-knowledge!
14. What’s an avocado’s favorite type of exercise?
Guac-robics!
15. How do you know an avocado is feeling artistic?
It’s busy creating a masterpiece with all its colorful friends!
16. Why did the avocado break out of the group?
It needed to find its own groove!
17. What do you call an avocado that tells stories?
A guac-tionary!
18. Why did the avocado join the choir?
It wanted to add its voice to the “a-mash-ing” harmonies!
19. What did the avocado say to the salad?
“Let’s get tossed together!”
20. Why did the avocado insist on a vacation?
It wanted to go somewhere nice and a-peeling!
How to Share Avocado Jokes
1. What’s the best way to share an avocado joke?
Send it “a-peel” via text!
2. Why did the avocado start a social media account?
To spread its guac-tastic humor!
3. How do you tell an avocado joke to your friends?
Just “avoca-DO” it with enthusiasm!
4. What do you say when passing around an avocado joke?
“Lend me your ears, it’s time for a guac-tale!”
5. Why should you share avocado jokes at brunch?
Because laughter pairs perfectly with mimosas!
6. How do you share a guacamole recipe and a joke?
Combine them, and make sure it’s “mash-terpiece”!
7. What’s the avocado’s favorite way to spread joy?
Through puns on a platter!
8. Why did the avocado post a joke online?
For the sake of good vibes and laughs!
9. How do you keep the avocado jokes fresh?
Share them liberally, just like guacamole!
10. What’s an avocado’s go-to sharing method?
A good laugh “a-shell” with friends!
11. Why should you tell avocado jokes to kids?
They always get a kick out of a-hassel of fun!
12. How do you encourage others to share avocado jokes?
Just tell them, “Let’s get guac’d up together!”
13. What’s a fun way to share avocado humor?
Turn it into a light-hearted game of charades!
14. Why did the avocado help with comedy night?
To unleash “a-pun” on the crowd!
15. How do you make sure everyone gets the joke?
Just keep passing it around like a bowl of guacamole!
16. What did the group do with their favorite avocado joke?
They just couldn’t “knot” share it!
17. What’s the easiest way to spread smiles?
Share a good avocado pun at lunchtime!
18. Why do avocados love group chats?
Because they can drop a good laugh whenever they want!
19. How do you know when to share an avocado joke?
When you sense it’s the perfect time to “ripe” some fun!
20. What’s an avocado’s secret recipe for laughter?
Mixing good friends and great jokes!