One rainy afternoon, I found myself watching ducks paddle around in a pond at the park. As I chuckled at their silly antics, I couldn’t help but think about how much joy animals bring into our lives, especially when they’re the punchline of a good joke. So, grab your rubber duckies and get ready for some quacking good laughs that are sure to brighten your day!
1. What do you call a duck that loves to play basketball?
A slam duck!
2. Why did the duck sit on the egg?
Because it wanted to hatch a plan!
3. What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?
A firequacker!
4. Why do ducks make great detectives?
Because they always quack the case!
5. What do you call a duck that steals?
A robber ducky!
6. Why did the duck go to the comedy club?
To quack up with laughter!
7. How do ducks like to pay for their purchases?
With their bills!
8. What’s a duck’s favorite type of music?
Anything that makes it waddle and quack!
9. Why did the duck bring a ladder to the bar?
Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
10. What did the duck say to the chicken?
“You crack me up!”
11. Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
12. What’s a duck’s favorite game?
Duck, Duck, Goose, naturally!
13. What do you call a duck that’s a great musician?
A quack-ordion player!
14. Why did the duck get a job?
Because it had bills to pay!
15. What did the duck order at the restaurant?
Quacker and cheese!
16. Why do ducks never get lost?
They always follow the quack-map!
17. What did the duck say when it got to the parade?
“I’m ready to quack it up!”
18. Why did the rubber duck go to school?
To become a little quackademic!
19. How do ducks communicate?
They use their quacker phones!
20. What type of books do ducks read?
Anything that’s a quack best-seller!
Classic duck one-liners
1. Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken!
2. What do you call a wise duck?
A wise quacker!
3. Why do ducks always carry a suitcase?
Because they like to wing it while traveling!
4. What do you call a duck that loves origami?
A paper quacker!
5. Why was the duck so good at sports?
Because it was a real quack athlete!
6. What do you get when ducks order Chinese food?
Quackers and fried rice!
7. Why did the duck go to art school?
To improve its quack-tastic skills!
8. What’s a duck’s favorite dance?
The quack step!
9. How do ducks celebrate their birthdays?
With a quack-tacular party!
10. What did the duck say when it won the lottery?
“I’m feeling quack-nificent!”
11. Why did the duck wear a bow tie?
It wanted to look a little quackers elegant!
12. What do you call a duck with weird manners?
A rude quacker!
13. Why did the duck get kicked out of the bar?
For quacking up too loud!
14. What’s a duck’s favorite game show?
Quack Jeopardy!
15. Why do ducks make terrible secret agents?
Because they always quack under pressure!
16. What did the duck say after finishing its meal?
“That was un-‘duck’-gettable!”
17. How did the duck become a comedian?
It just had a knack for ‘quack’ time humor!
18. What do you call a friendly duck?
A quack friend!
19. Why did the duck get an award?
For being outstanding in its field of quack-tastic humor!
20. What did the duck say to its date?
“You’re quack-tually amazing!”
Pun-derful duck puns
1. What do you call a duck in space?
A quackernaut!
2. What did the duck say when it overheard a joke?
“That’s quite a quacker!”
3. Why was the duck so good at math?
Because it knew how to quackulate!
4. What do you call a duck who loves to tell jokes?
A quack-up artist!
5. Why did the duck sit in the shade?
It didn’t want to be a hot duck!
6. How do ducks prefer to communicate?
Through quack-mail!
7. Why did the duck bring a pencil to the pond?
To draw some quack-tastic art!
8. What’s a duck’s favorite dessert?
Quack-a-lot pie!
9. Why did the duck apply for a job at the bank?
It wanted to make some extra quackers!
10. What do ducks say to start a race?
“Ready, set, quack!”
11. Why did the duck go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling very quack-y!
12. What do you get when you cross a duck with a detective?
A quack-sleuth!
13. How does a duck ask for something?
“I’m quacking for a favor!”
14. What’s a duck’s favorite exercise?
Anything that gets its quack up!
15. Why did the duck wear a cape?
It wanted to be Super Quack!
16. What did the duck do when it won a prize?
It quacked with joy!
17. Why do ducks always have great stories?
Because they’re full of quack-tales!
18. How do you know when a duck is happy?
It starts to quack up a storm!
19. What did one duck say to the other during a race?
“Let’s wing it!”
20. Why was the duck such a great politician?
Because it knew how to handle the quack-back!
Knock-knock duck jokes
1. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Duck.
Duck who?
Duck you, I’m quacking over here!
2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to quack with me?
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle you do if I quack at you?
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quacker.
Quacker who?
Quacker up, it’s time to laugh!
5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al you can eat quackers!
6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quack.
Quack who?
Quack me up with a good joke!
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ugga.
Ugga who?
Ugga duck, let’s go to the park!
8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beak.
Beak who?
Beak careful, I’m a quacking duck!
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say quack?
10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy the mall to find some duck food!
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gwen.
Gwen who?
Gwen are we going to the pond to quack?
12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
Tank you for being such a quacking friend!
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don’t forget to bring me some bread crumbs!
14. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Puddle.
Puddle who?
Puddle up and enjoy the fun!
15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quackie.
Quackie who?
Quackie I’m ready for a joke marathon!
16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waddles.
Waddles who?
Waddles you do without duck jokes?
17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fowl.
Fowl who?
Fowl much time do we have to quack?
18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quackaroo.
Quackaroo who?
Quackaroo, let the fun begin!
19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bill.
Bill who?
Bill me in for some quacking laughs!
20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Feather.
Feather who?
Feather you like it or not, here come the quacks!
Funny duck riddles
1. What gets bigger the more you take away from it?
A duck’s appetite!
2. What do you get when you cross a duck and an elephant?
A quack that weighs a ton!
3. Why do ducks make great comedians?
Because they’re always cracking jokes!
4. What has wings but cannot fly?
A duck on a diet!
5. Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
6. What do you call a duck that gets into trouble?
A bad quack!
7. What is a duck’s favorite ballet?
Swan Lake, of course!
8. How can you tell if a duck is well balanced?
It has its bills evenly distributed!
9. What do you call a duck that can’t swim?
A quack-cident waiting to happen!
10. What do ducks use for the internet?
A quackbook!
11. Why was the duck sitting on the eggs?
Because it wanted to hatch some new ideas!
12. What’s a duck’s favorite soda?
Quacker! (Quaker, get it?)
13. Why did the duck get a parking ticket?
It was quacking in a no-parking zone!
14. How do ducks like their coffee?
With a quack of cream!
15. What happens when ducks fly south for the winter?
They get down with the quackers!
16. Why did the duck wear a raincoat?
To keep its feathers dry during a quack-storm!
17. What do ducks like to read in the morning?
The quack-er news!
18. Why was the duck taking a nap?
Because it was feeling a bit quackers!
19. What do you get when a duck flies upside down?
A quack-splat!
20. Why did the duck call 911?
Because it was feeling a little quack-ed out!
Witty duck sayings
1. You can’t make everyone happy; you’re not a duck in a pond!
2. Duck friends are the best companions—unless they quack you up too much!
3. A good day is when you’re surrounded by friends and a few friendly ducks!
4. Life is too short to worry; just waddle with it like a duck on a sunny day!
5. Keep calm and let the ducks do the quacking for you!
6. In a world full of noise, be a duck—float above it all!
7. Happiness is a warm pond and a ducky friend at your side!
8. Some days you have to just wing it; that’s how ducks do it!
9. Stay positive and quack on, even when life gets a little fishy!
10. You know you’re going places when your friends are as fun as a bunch of ducks!
11. A wise man once said: “Don’t worry, just quack and roll!”
12. Surround yourself with the ducks that make you laugh the most!
13. Just like ducks, we all need a little splash of fun in our day!
14. Quack often, laugh loudly, and enjoy the ride!
15. If you ever feel down, remember the joy of a duck’s quack!
16. The best plans are made when you’re having a quacking good time!
17. Keep your problems at bay, and let your inner duck swim free!
18. A duck’s motto: “Live life with a waddle and a smile!”
19. When life gives you puddles, make sure to play in them like a duck!
20. From one duck to another: always enjoy the little things—like some good company and a nice pond!
Hilarious duck anecdotes
1. A friend once told me about a duck that decided to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. Every time he got on stage, he would quack a few jokes, and the crowd would go wild. One day during a huge show, he said, “You think my jokes are funny? You should see my quack-tastic dance moves!”
2. There was a little duck who wanted to prove he was brave. He decided to swim across the biggest pond in town. When he finally reached the other side, out of breath, he quacked, “I waddle be a hero!”
3. On a camping trip, I heard a duck telling his feathered friends a spooky story about the time he got lost in the dark. He ended it by saying, “And just when I thought I’d never quack again, I found the way back home!”
4. A local farmer noticed his ducks were getting extra attention from visitors. He scratched his head and exclaimed, “I guess it’s true what they say; these ducks really know how to quack an audience!”
5. During a talent show, a duck performed an incredible magic trick, making his friends disappear behind a curtain. When he called them back, he proudly quacked, “Ta-da! Looks like I’m not just a duck, but a quack-tionist!”
6. There was a duck who started a movie club. One day he announced, “For today’s viewing, we are watching ‘The Quacking Dead’ – you’re in for a real thriller!”
7. At the pond, a group of ducks decided to hold a race. The fastest duck kept bragging, “I could beat anyone! But I won’t quack about it!”
8. A duck won a raffle and was asked what he would do with the prize money. He replied, “I’m going to invest in quacker-stocks!”
9. The ducks at the farm were planning a surprise party for their friend. They said, “Let’s make sure it’s a quack-tastic bash!”
10. One day, a young duck asked the wise old duck for advice on growing up. The elder replied, “Just remember to always be yourself—unless you can be a quack, then always be a quack!”
11. In the middle of a rainy day, a duck gathered its friends and said, “Let’s go out and play! If life gives us rain, we’ll just waddle through it!”
12. A duck once tried to sing opera, but he quickly realized he was better at quacking. “Maybe I should stick to the classics,” he said as he performed “Quack the Night Away.”
13. During a meeting, a duck had a brilliant idea and quacked, “Let’s not just wing it; let’s plan our quack-tastic future together!”
14. A duck walked into a store with a bag of bread and told the cashier, “Just ducking around for some snacks!”
15. Once, at a pet show, the judges were blown away when a duck told them, “I’m here to quack up the competition!”
16. After winning a race, a duck celebrated by donning sunglasses and quacked, “I’m officially the quack star of the pond!”
17. A duck decided to start a cooking show, showcasing its signature dish—quacker salad. It announced, “Cooking with me is always a quacking good time!”
18. A group of ducks were discussing they should go on a vacation. One quacked, “How about we waddle off to the beach? It’ll be a quack of a trip!”
19. At a duck festival, a duck gave a motivational speech, quacking, “Believe in yourselves; you’re all quack-tastic the way you are!”
20. One night, a duck dreamed of flying in the stars. When it woke up, it quacked to its friends, “I had the most quack-mazing adventure last night!”
Duck jokes for kids
1. Why did the duck bring a backpack to school?
Because it wanted to be prepared for a quacking good time!
2. What did the duck say when it got a smartphone?
“I’m ready to quack the code!”
3. Why did the duck join the band?
Because it had the quack-tastic rhythm!
4. What type of pizza does a duck enjoy?
Quack and cheese, of course!
5. Why did the duck take a bath?
To become a little quacker clean!
6. What do you call a duck that can play chess?
A quack-master!
7. Why did the little duck get kicked off the playground?
For being a little too quack-y!
8. What’s a duck’s favorite school subject?
Quack-ademics!
9. Why did the duck start a gardening club?
Because it wanted to grow some quack-tastic crops!
10. What do ducks use to write their stories?
A quack-er pen!
11. Why did the duck want to be an astronaut?
So it could quack among the stars!
12. What happened when the duck tried to play hide and seek?
It kept quacking and gave itself away!
13. Why do ducks make terrible secret agents?
Because they can’t keep their quacks quiet!
14. What does a duck wear to the beach?
Its best quackini!
15. Why did the duck fail its driving test?
Because it couldn’t stop quacking up!
16. What’s a duck’s favorite hamburger?
A quacker with extra pickles!
17. Why did the duck go to the library?
To find some quack-tastic stories!
18. How do ducks learn to swim?
They take a quack course!
19. What did the duck say after a big accomplishment?
“I’m feeling like a quack-star!”
20. Why did the duck always carry a pencil?
Because it wanted to draw some quack-mazing pictures!
Quacking good dad jokes
1. What do you call a dad duck who’s always telling jokes?
A quack-up dad!
2. Why did the dad duck bring a towel to the party?
Because he wanted to quack up the spills!
3. What did the dad duck say when his kids asked for a snack?
“Time for some quackers!”
4. Why did the dad duck sit on the egg?
He wanted to hatch a few good dad jokes!
5. What do you call a dad duck who’s great at telling stories?
A quacker tale teller!
6. How does a dad duck greet his kids?
“Waddle you do today?”
7. What did the dad duck say when he got a new job?
“I’ll have to quack up the resume!”
8. Why does the dad duck love basketball?
Because he enjoys making slam ducks!
9. What did the dad duck bring to the picnic?
His best quack-sandwiches!
10. Why did the dad duck cross the road?
To show his kids he’s still got it!
11. What does a dad duck do at the beach?
He likes to quack and relax!
12. How did the dad duck react to embarrassing moments?
With a hearty quack of laughter!
13. What did the dad duck say before going on stage?
“Time to quack up the crowd!”
14. Why did the dad duck always carry bread?
In case he needed to break the ice!
15. What did the dad duck say to motivate his kids?
“You’re all quack-tastic!”
16. How does a dad duck start his day?
With a quack-tastic breakfast!
17. Why did the dad duck start a gardening club?
He wanted to grow quack-tastic vegetables!
18. What did the dad duck say when he taught swimming?
“Just keep calm and quack on!”
19. How did the dad duck handle tough questions?
With wit and a splash of humor!
20. What’s a dad duck’s favorite holiday?
Quackersgiving, of course!
Easter eggs in duck humor
1. What do you find at a duck’s Easter egg hunt?
A quack-o-lot of eggs!
2. Why did the duck color eggs for Easter?
Because it wanted to make some egg-cellent quackers!
3. What do you call a duck who loves Easter?
A quack-ter!
4. Why did the duck bring a basket to the pond?
To collect all the quack-tastic eggs!
5. What do ducks say when they open Easter eggs?
“Shell we see what’s inside?”
6. How did the duck know spring was here?
It saw all the egg-cited little chicks!
7. Why was the duck so good at hide-and-seek during Easter?
Because it always ducked under cover!
8. What did the duck quack when it found a golden egg?
“I’m feeling extra egg-cellent!”
9. Why do ducks make great Easter egg decorators?
Because they have a lot of quack-tivity!
10. What do ducks use to wrap their Easter gifts?
Quack-paper!
11. Why did the duck refuse to play cards on Easter?
Because it was afraid of cheaters quacking!
12. What do you get when you cross a duck with an Easter bunny?
The quack-bunny!
13. Why did the duck go to the up-and-coming craft fair?
For some quack-tastic Easter ideas!
14. How do ducks celebrate Easter?
With lots of egg-citing games and quacky fun!
15. What do you call a duck that knows how to paint eggs?
A quack Picasso!
16. Why did the duck hide all the Easter eggs?
Because it wanted to quack up the surprise!
17. What happens when ducks tell Easter jokes?
Everyone quacks up!
18. What’s a duck’s favorite Easter candy?
Chocolate quackers!
19. Why was the duck so happy on Easter morning?
Because it was a day for making quacky memories!
20. What did one duck say to another at the Easter party?
“Let’s get this quack party started!”